{ chez moi }

make-believe

2012-01-20T19:50:00.003-07:00

Eva came up with a new game—running her very own salon/spa (I'm usually her only customer).

It has decor, open and closed signs, and even a paper bell that I have to ring when I enter.

The services she provides are: scalp massages (a work in progress), hairstyles, nail painting, hand or foot lotion application, and warm water foot or hand soaks.

I let her paint my nails one day. It turned out better than anticipated! I actually left them that way for a few days, and she was thrilled.

Usually I have her give me a scalp massage and put lotion on my hands, but one day I let her talk me into a warm foot soak. It felt divine, and made me wonder why I hadn't succumbed to that treatment earlier.

(A game where she waits on me, and I get to sit and soak my feet? This is one I can definitely get behind.)

She totally gets into her role as salon owner or spa employee, and has a pretend cash register and card swiper.

And at closing time, she treats herself to some pampering as well.

Sunday thoughts

2012-01-15T20:16:00.001-07:00

I stayed home sick from church today. The only thing I did to feed my spirit was that I listened to a Conversations podcast with Virginia Hinckley Pearce. It was good.

But I decided to share a quote that I stumbled upon the other day when I happened to see a BYU devotional given by Thomas S. Monson in 2007:

Faith and doubt cannot exist in the same mind at the same time, for one will dispel the other.

Should doubt knock at your doorway, just say to those skeptical, disturbing, rebellious thoughts, "I propose to stay with my faith, with the faith of my people. I know that happiness and contentment are there, and I forbid you, agnostic, doubting thoughts, to destroy the house of my faith."

This just jumped out at me, because lately I have wondered why doubting thoughts sometimes creep in. Even though I never really entertain them, they are disturbing!

It felt validating, somehow, that our prophet recognizes that this can happen. And that the solution is so simple! I can just tell those doubts to go away! Nice.

12 on the 12th | January

2012-01-14T10:01:00.004-07:00

1. I brewed a pot of tea for Max and I to enjoy before he left for school. (We brought up the Mrs. Tea that had been relegated to the garage when we got fancy teas from Teavana.)
2. Working on a little scripture study with the tools that Jill gave me for Christmas!
3. It seemed noteworthy that I had to write a check. I never write checks anymore, and it has been many years since I ordered any!
4. I was pleased that, even though I was feeling sick, I mustered the energy to package up some Amazon returns and other mail, and sent it off!
5. Max, doing tons and tons of homework, as usual.
6. I spent much of my day reading our book club book for next week.
7. I had my usual Thursday afternoon piano lessons.
8. Eva has dance on Thursday evenings. I just love seeing her in her dance clothes and ballet shoes.
9. I wasn't up to making dinner, so I got Little Caesar's on the way home from dance.
10. Checking to see if I had any moves to make on Words With Friends (always disappointing when I don't.)
11. Lucas had his first dance class! He seems to surprise me at every turn. I've never seen sporty jazz shoes like these, I thought they were all like the old Capezio leather ones.
12. Max thought he'd quickly register to take the ACT before we watched Modern Family. Little did we know it would take half an hour or more! It's hard to believe I have a junior who is taking the college entrance exams...

nice and not-so-nice

2012-01-12T12:29:00.002-07:00

Yesterday I was out grocery shopping. I turned right when there was a little gap in traffic, and although it didn't put anyone in danger, apparently the man in the minivan behind me was mad. Really mad.

He laid on his horn for a long time. Three times. Okay, I waved to him. I get it. You're mad.

I pulled onto the shoulder of the road to turn into the parking lot of the grocery store. He sped up in front of me and then cut me off, and this time it was dangerous. I slammed on my brakes, and now I was getting mad.

I found a parking space and just sat there for a minute, fuming. Meanwhile, crazy road rage guy circled the parking lot and stopped behind my van, so he could scream obscenities at me. I just sat there, waiting it out.

Finally, he left and I went in to do my shopping, but my heart was racing the way it does when you have a near-accident. It was a really not-so-nice way to start my day.

However, there was a woman who witnessed the whole thing from her car. She waited for him to leave, and waited for me to leave my car so that she could apologize on his behalf. She said she had no idea why he was such a jerk, and said she hoped I would have a nice day anyway. Nice.

Now, I have a cold. Not so nice. But I do have an excuse to sit and drink tea and watch tv and read. Nice.

Sunday thoughts

2012-01-08T13:32:00.004-07:00

First of all, a confession: last night I went to bed half-hoping I would wake up feeling too ill to go to church today. (Three members of my family are sick and I've had a scratchy throat and stomachache, so it seemed possible.)

I just had no enthusiasm for attending our new ward again and staying home sounded pretty good, even if I had to be sick to swing it.

Well I felt pretty good this morning, so Lucas and I went to church. On the way, I asked him how long he thought it would take until this new ward, this new building, stopped feeling so weird. (I was thinking about a year.) He said he didn't think it would take long at all, that it wasn't so weird. Well, then. He was the one I was most worried about! I guess I'm the one having the hardest time.

Today was ward conference, and it was great.

One speaker talked about Mosiah 2:41:

And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the happy and blessed state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness. O remember, remember that these things are true, for the Lord God hath spoken it.

I already have a desire to keep the commandments of God. I know from experience that I am much, much happier when I am doing so. But this reminder of temporal and spiritual things being linked gave me even more motivation to increase my obedience. The temporal blessings that come from obedience are not necessarily riches, but a greater ability to meet our financial obligations. We really want to reduce our debt and are in need of temporal help, so this was a welcome reminder indeed.

Another speaker related this passage:

Sometimes we feel that the busier we are, the more important we are—as though our busyness defines our worth. Brothers and sisters, we can spend a lifetime whirling about at a feverish pace, checking off list after list of things that in the end really don’t matter.
That we do a lot may not be so important. That we focus the energy of our minds, our hearts, and our souls on those things of eternal significance—that is essential.
As the clatter and clamor of life bustle about us, we hear shouting to “come here” and to “go there.” In the midst of the noise and seductive voices that compete for our time and interest, a solitary figure stands on the shores of the Sea of Galilee, calling quietly to us, “Follow me.”
—Joseph B. Wirthlin, April 2002 General Conference

I love this. Lately I feel like I have been working at a feverish pace, and feeling empty. This was a much-needed reminder to focus my energies on the things that really matter.

In addition, a sweet lady (who introduced herself to me after the meeting in which we found out we would be changing wards) sat next to me in Gospel Doctrine. She remembered my name, and she asked where the rest of my family was. She complimented Lucas, who she had seen passing the sacrament. She pretty much made my day.

And I was reminded, yet again, that I have never regretted having gone to church.

a new tradition is born

2012-01-04T22:10:00.003-07:00

Jill and I had planned to squeeze in another Creative Friday before school started, but kid sickness thwarted our plans (namely Lucas). We kept thinking that we had more chances, but he was sick for 6 days, so we really didn't.

It was almost a crushing blow, but Jill quickly schemed up a new plan: a yadies' yunch (ladies' lunch). Even Eva, who had been waiting with bated breath to play with Whitney, immediately said, "Great!"

We met at Los Hermanos.

Whitney got a Los Hermanos shirt for Christmas, which apparently entitled you to a free fancy drink. (Who knew?)

Since Whitney was getting one, I let Eva choose a fancy drink as well, and she selected the strawberry daiquiri. Although she had some ambrosial moments with it at first, she eventually decided it wasn't her favorite. What the? I thought it was delicious.

She must have applied about 10 coats of her favorite lipgloss while we waited for our food. No joke. (Also sporting her new CTR ring.)

What am I going to do with this girl? She is by turns exasperating and exhilarating to me.

Our table was delightfully covered in gifts!

Whitney picked out several horses for Eva (her newest obsession).

We gave Whitney a series of books (The World According to Humphrey) about a hamster who is a classroom pet, in hopes that it will convince her that reading is the best thing ever. Or at least tolerable. (No pressure.)

I gave Jill some new shirts since she is always wondering what to wear to work. I was so concerned that they wouldn't fit her style that I bought some backup gifts. She says they are unnecessary, but you never know... (FYI: Doubting a gift after I purchase it is one of my idiosyncrasies.)

Jill gave me several things from my Amazon wishlist: a scripture study journal, gel pens for my scripture study, a book, and 15 sets of double-pointed knitting needles! (That's 75 needles!) A motherlode, for sure.

The girls finished eating before we did, and Eva was positively dying to play with Whitney, so Jill coerced her into taking Eva outside for a few minutes. (We have been having such mild weather, it's crazy!)

A few minutes turned into 45, while we leisurely ate and discussed our goals for the new year. It totally felt like we were getting away with something.

A good time was had by all (with the possible exception of Whitney) and I think a new tradition was born! It was a very nice way to spend the last day of Christmas vacation.

books 2011 #36-41

2012-01-02T06:35:00.000-07:00

Apologize, Apologize! by Elizabeth Kelly

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I saw that one critic compared the family in this book to the Royal Tenenbaums, and I can see it. Each character is rather one-note, so it's the interaction between them that creates the most interest. Collie, the narrator, is probably the most complex of the characters (or maybe that's just how it seems because we see everything from his point of view). I like it that he's not so cut and dry, that his grief, his frustration are not so easily overcome.

Warning: this book contains a decent amount of vulgar language.

The Heretic's Daughter by Kathleen Kent

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Historical novel about the Salem witch trials, written from the point of view of a girl whose mother (and most of her family) was accused. It was fascinating to see how the mass hysteria built up around suspected witchcraft. With essentially no evidence, so many were imprisoned and many hanged. I knew very little about this time period, and was actually surprised that there were not more people involved and that it all happened in a matter of a few months.

I loved the depth of the characters and the development of the relationships.

The Girl She Used to Be by David Cristofano

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

An interesting story about a girl who's been in the witness protection program for most of her life. I'm not sure the characters are all that believable, but it was a quick read about something new to me, and I liked that.

Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption by Laura Hillenbrand

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I'm wavering between 4 and 5 stars on this one.

I've read other books about WWII, but never from the perspective of soldiers in Japanese POW camps. Louie Zamperini is amazing, a true testament to the amazing ability of (some) people to persevere, survive, and even flourish. I can't even imagine.

A fascinating, disturbing, and ultimately satisfying book.

The Continuous Atonement by Brad Wilcox

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I heard the author talk about much of the material in this book and I preferred his speaking to his writing. That said, I still found this to be an inspiring and useful book.

some favorite quotes:

"Changes in belief always precede changes in behavior."

"It is one thing to follow Christ and another thing entirely to be led by Him."

"True faith in Christ is more than just knowing about Him or even believing He is divine. It is knowing that His Atonement is real, that its purpose is to transform us, and that it will be available as long as that perfecting process takes."

"Our needs—including the need for forgiveness—are continuous, and so is Christ's Atonement in its ability to meet those needs."

"[Christ] doesn't always clear the path, but He does illuminate it."

"One who chooses Christ chooses to be changed... [The Atonement] rehabilitates, regenerates, renews, and transforms human nature."

"We should recognize that God is pleased with every effort we make—no matter how faltering—to better ourselves."

"Save for the exception of the very few who defect to perdition, there is no habit, no addiction, no rebellion, no transgression, no apostasy, no crime exempted from the promise of complete forgiveness. That is the promise of the Atonement of Christ. (Boyd K. Packer)"

Wilcox's down-to-earth writing and clear examples make a difficult subject much easier to understand.

The Book of Ruth by Jane Hamilton

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Ruth is a very complex character — beaten down, made to feel that she is unintelligent, stuck in her smallest of small town lives. She begins corresponding with her estranged Aunt Sid, the only person to encourage her and lift her. Ruth says that Sid saved her life a million times over.

Even after becoming a mother and wife, Ruth exists in a childlike, innocent state, until a violent act throws her life into complete upheaval. There is a sense of hopefulness throughout that things will turn out okay for Ruth in the end. Despite her awkwardness, she has dignity and resilience.

View all my reviews

Sunday thoughts

2012-01-01T18:53:00.002-07:00

Today we attended our new ward for the first time. It was a little bit hard. The building is unfamiliar, as are most of the people. The Primary and Young Men's programs are quite a bit smaller (I don't know about the YW).

I'm impressed, however, with the efforts the existing ward members have made to reach out to us as new members. The Primary president came to meet Eva this week. The Relief Society presidency came to meet me. Three of our familiar members spoke in sacrament meeting today and there was a little sheet with the program that had short biographies of the speakers. Great idea!

I'm such an introvert—it's really hard for me to reach out and meet new people, especially when it is a whole ward full. So I know it will just take time to adjust. Maybe in a year or so, we'll all look back on this as a positive change...

One of the talks today was given by my dear friend Heidi. Her remarks came largely from two talks by Elder Carl B. Cook: one from General Conference and one from the January Ensign. My favorite parts:

[He spoke of being discouraged in the MTC about his mastery of a new language, then praying and receiving revelation that the Lord was pleased with him.] From that point on, my measuring stick changed. I no longer gauged my progress and success against that of my companion or other members of my district. Instead, I focused on how the Lord felt I was doing. Instead of looking to the side to compare myself to others, I began to look up, so to speak, to know what He thought of my efforts.
The world we live in today has all kinds of measurements—most of them external to us. . . Sometimes we’re judged by the way we look or by the car we drive. We might base our sense of self-worth on how many friends are writing on our wall on social networking sites. We worry about what others think about the person we’re dating or what people will think if we marry before finishing school. It’s easy to get caught up in trying to please others, but we can’t trust such external measurements; the world can be too quick both to praise and to criticize.

I think the challenge for all of us—but perhaps particularly for young adults—is to try not to look sideways to see how others are viewing our lives but to look up to see how Heavenly Father sees us. He doesn’t look on the outward appearance but on the heart (see 1 Samuel 16:7). And He knows, better than anyone else, what each one of us needs.
Experience has taught me that if we, like President Monson, exercise our faith and look to God for help, we will not be overwhelmed with the burdens of life. We will not feel incapable of doing what we are called to do or need to do. We will be strengthened, and our lives will be filled with peace and joy. We will come to realize that most of what we worry about is not of eternal significance—and if it is, the Lord will help us. But we must have the faith to look up and the courage to follow His direction.

This reminds me of something my grandmother used to say: that she had learned to stop worrying about what others thought of her—even those most close and dear—and focus instead on what the Lord thought of her. She would pray to see herself, for good or ill, through His eyes. Then she could know what she needed to change, and she could also feel the peace and acceptance of knowing she was loved for who she really was.

I just love this concept, and want to strengthen my abilities to look up.

Christmas day

2011-12-30T08:57:00.006-07:00

(Eva drew some Christmas pictures on the calendar.)

We went to sacrament meeting at 9:00 and it was sad and beautiful. Beautiful because our choir did their musical presentation and there was a lot of congregational singing of carols, which I enjoy. Sad because it was our last Sunday in the ward that we have loved so much. They did a group release, where everyone who is changing wards and has a calling stood at the same time. For some reason, I hated standing and looking around at all of the others who would be leaving the ward. Also, we found out that we will now be attending church in a different building, which somehow seems like an additional blow—nothing familiar at all. And there were many tearful goodbyes, so I came home from church feeling super emotional and drained.

I made a quick breakfast of sticky bun breakfast ring and homemade hot chocolate. Everyone got into comfy clothes and went through their stockings before we opened gifts. I love it when we can spread things out and it's not all over with so quickly! We didn't even start opening presents until almost noon.

Jack got the biggest bone in the world. He was super-interested in it at first, and then he proceeded to be afraid of it for the rest of the day. (He has since come around and treated us to some gory bone-crunching noises.) What a crazy dog.

We had to remind Eva of our rule of taking turns, and opening one present at a time, so we can all see the gifts and the reactions.

One of her gifts from Grandma Susan and Grandpa Fred: the fanciest horse in the world with a fairy rider. Also a sparkly unicorn. She was instantly in love.

Max and Lucas got the softest blankets in the world (from Costco). Marc and I are both a little bit envious.

Jessie made more of her genius personalized t-shirts. Eva loved her horse shirt so much, she immediately put it on and did a fashion show. It was literally a showstopper.

Max's haul: cozy blanket, shirts, a sweater, headphones (his are forever dying), scarves, socks, a tie, classical CD sets, and money to get his cello bow re-haired. Also some fancy teas from Teavana.

Lucas got new shoes, a robe, snow pants and long underwear for Scout campouts, Harry Potter movies, books, headphones, and the new Zelda video game.

Eva working on the paleontology kit that Grandma Susan sent. "Hours of fun!" the package promises. It may just cure her of her career plans.

She got many horses—stuffed, fancy, plain, and all different breeds, Barbie movies, The Lion King, a horse coloring book, Littlest Pet Shops, and so many cute clothes.

(An aside: on Christmas Eve, she contemplated writing Santa a note to tell him that he didn't need to stop by our house. We already had plenty of presents. But she was still happy to get a stocking. And twice, she slipped up and asked me where I got some of the items in her stocking. She is wavering in her Santa belief.)

Christmas generates so much trash! And unfortunately, we missed our garbage pick up this week — the worst possible week for that to happen...

Marc gave me a candy thermometer, a donut pan, a new wallet, a scripture case, and Elder Bednar's new book. Max gave me an iTunes gift card (my second one ever!). Lucas gave me a new small skillet (orange!) so I could finally throw away my old gross one. Eva made us an ornament at school. My parents sent me my dad's former phone so I can join the ranks of smartphone users! Also a pressure cooker, a scarf, a new beater blade for my KitchenAid, and ... new hardware for my kitchen cabinets!

Marc got a fancy camera strap, money to get Moo photo business cards made, two movies, slippers, cozy socks, a shirt and tie. Max gave him chocolate and an Amazon gift certificate. Lucas gave him a new snow scraper for his car.

I ignored this pile of boxes and took a two-hour nap! It was glorious. Then we ate leftovers from Christmas Eve. I love staying home on Christmas.

Christmas Eve in pictures

2011-12-26T13:08:00.002-07:00

Eva really wanted to make gingerbread cookies. We discovered that she is a whiz with a pastry bag!

Lucas showing Eva that Guitar Hero is harder than it looks.

Max played for a couple of hours at a local rest home.

Between gingerbread cookies, treats for the neighbors, and our Christmas Eve dinner, I was in the kitchen all day!

My mixer got quite a workout.

Eva came back for more decorating.

Max made shrimp risotto for dinner.

I made eggplant parmesan, surprisingly for the first time!

and artisan bread x2

We read the Christmas story from the scriptures and did our gifts to the Savior. I was surprised to find when I opened up my little red box that we have now been doing this for 6 years! One of the best things I have ever done, it has really changed my life for the better.

When all the dishes were done and the kids had finally gone to bed, I got to play Santa.

I really love that my mom sends things for my stocking. Stockings are my favorite!

Eva considered writing Santa a note and telling him that we had plenty and he didn't need to stop by our house this year. Seriously.

I went to bed at midnight! I consider that a victory on Christmas Eve. I love going to bed on Christmas Eve, knowing that the children will wake to happy surprises.

the lights at Temple Square

2011-12-24T19:30:00.003-07:00

On Thursday night, we had a Christmas dinner with Marc's family (they are in Hawaii now). After dinner and exchanging gifts, while Marc set up the new Roku box we gave his parents, Max and Eva and I walked down to Temple Square.

I love this walk down the hill!

It just puts you in a good mood.

I love this view. (Marc's parents only live about a block up from Temple Square.)

This was Eva's excited reaction over the horse and carriage rides. When I told her that Marc and I had one of those at our wedding reception, she was speechless.

Max is excited about taking pictures as I am. (Sadly, both of our camera batteries died shortly after we got there!)

While Max and I scoped out photo ops, Eva contented herself with walking on low walls everywhere we went. She was jumping and leaping and running without stop. Oh, to have that much energy.

I love the luminaries.

The different languages, various fonts, the lights, it's just happy.

Eva particularly liked the dove. Me, too.

How do they make these??

We went into Assembly Hall and listened to a choir from a local high school. They were really good! Max and I would have stayed longer, but Eva was tired of indulging "the music lovers." When I pointed out that she is a music lover as well, she was offended and said that she is an animal lover. What the? This from the girl who is always singing and making up songs?

It's really cold and it's really crowded, but it's also really beautiful. I love Temple Square at Christmas.

Christmas book club

2011-12-23T23:00:00.004-07:00

It's the most wonderful book club of the year! We met at Collette's for dinner, book discussion, and gift exchange.

Collette's husband Travis took our group photo (he was dealing with an unfamiliar camera).

Collette said the blessing and got choked up when she talked about our friendship. It was sweet and adorable.

It's always fun when we bring in all our gifts and fill up the tree!

Travis won this lamp as a white elephant gift, much to Collette's delight. (She said, "not in my house!")

We had a lot to say about this book, which was a wonderful selection to read at Christmastime to help us focus on the Savior.

Jana is still recovering from the pneumonia from hell that lasted a month and left her with 3 cracked ribs from coughing so hard. Or as her mother-in-law called it, "her little cold."

I made this caramel cake. It was delicious, but hideous. The frosting took way longer to set up than the recipe specified, so it pooled at the bottom of the plate.

Jenn has entered the world of texting! But Jill called her phone "the brick." She's a late adopter.

December book club is always fun because we have a book exchange and we also exchange gifts. Jenn brought us some of our favorite candies; Amy made us beautiful ornaments with her Silhouette machine (jealous); Jana made us adorable little first aid kits with a tag that said, "thanks for helping me through the bumps and bruises of life;" Collette gave us monogram ornaments, a BYU water bottle and chocolate cinnamon bears from the candy counter of the BYU bookstore; Jill gave us all a book that she read this year and loved. (I made everyone sparkly literary ornaments.)

Jana had me for the book exchange and gave me Infinite Jest. I saw it and said, "I totally want to read this!" (despite the fact that it is over 1000 pages) and she said, "I know! I saw it on your Goodreads list!" I love Goodreads.

I came home with many parcels and gifts, such a treat (also leftover cake, which delighted my family).

Sunday thoughts on Monday

2011-12-19T21:09:00.003-07:00

(Yesterday was a lovely foggy day—everything was flocked with a layer of frost.)

At 3:00, the members of two wards in our stake were called in to a special meeting, where boundary changes were announced.

Each member of the stake presidency spoke about how we are all called to do hard things, about how these changes will bring about much good.

But what really stood out to me was a reference to Caleb, in the book of Joshua, where he said, "Give me this mountain." I really don't know my Old Testament like I should, so this was not familiar to me. I looked it up tonight and thought about it.

9 And Moses sware on that day, saying, Surely the land whereon thy feet have trodden shall be thine inheritance, and thy children’s for ever, because thou hast wholly followed the Lord my God.

10 And now, behold, the Lord hath kept me alive, he said, these forty and five years, even since the Lord spake this word unto Moses, while the children of Israel wandered in the wilderness: and now, lo, I am this day fourscore and five years old.

11 As yet I am as strong this day as I was in the day that Moses sent me: as my strength was then, even so is my strength now, for war, both to go out, and to come in.

12 Now therefore give me this mountain, whereof the Lord spake in that day; for thou heardest in that day how the Anakims were there, and that the cities were great and fenced: if so be the Lord will be with me, then I shall be able to drive them out, as the Lord said. (emphasis mine)

And I found a talk by Spencer W. Kimball in October 1979, where he addressed this section of the scriptures:

From Caleb’s example we learn very important lessons. Just as Caleb had to struggle and remain true and faithful to gain his inheritance, so we must remember that, while the Lord has promised us a place in his kingdom, we must ever strive constantly and faithfully so as to be worthy to receive the reward.
Caleb concluded his moving declaration with a request and a challenge with which my heart finds full sympathy. The Anakims, the giants, were still inhabiting the promised land, and they had to be overcome. Said Caleb, now at 85 years, “Give me this mountain” (Josh. 14:12).
This is my feeling for the work at this moment. There are great challenges ahead of us, giant opportunities to be met. I welcome that exciting prospect and feel to say to the Lord, humbly, “Give me this mountain,” give me these challenges.
Humbly, I give this pledge to the Lord and to you, my beloved brothers and sisters, fellow workers in this sacred cause of Christ: I will go forward, with faith in the God of Israel, knowing that he will guide and direct us, and lead us, finally, to the accomplishment of his purposes and to our promised land and our promised blessings.

I just love this.

I am not there yet. I sat and cried when I heard that we and some of our neighbors will be moving to a new ward. I am so sad for Lucas, who is leaving a great Deacon's quorum and wonderful leaders. I cried when some of my young women came and hugged me. I am sad for all of the people that I will miss, for the ward family that I have loved.

I am not ready to ask for challenges, but as they are given to me, I want to, as Caleb, wholly follow the Lord my God. I want to go forward with faith. And I am grateful for the scriptures and prophets who inspire and comfort me.

12 on the 12th | December

2011-12-14T22:34:00.002-07:00

1. The morning vitamins I put out for me and the kids.
2. A paper I pulled out of Eva's backpack — I love that she made up how to write her name in cursive (and then wrote an alternate version).
3. Catching up on my Words With Friends games.
4. Relaxing in front of the Christmas tree led to admiring the glittered stars I made out of cereal boxes. (Don't look at the backs!) I scored and bent them to make them 3D, and applied a combo of silver and gold glitter for more of a vintage look. I liked them so much, I made a bunch more for the rest of the tree.
5. An example of the literary ornaments I made from a cheap paperback of Sense and Sensibility from D.I. These make me happy.
6. This pile of books by the couch indicates that Max is home from school.
7. And then he can be found working on his homework for pretty much the rest of the day. He has a huge backlog of TV shows to watch during Christmas vacation!
8. Checking out a new recipe for pizza dough on one of the cooking blogs that I enjoy.
9. Jack, in a rare moment of holding still. Check out all that gray in his fur!
10. Max's tie, cast aside before dinner. (He likes to wear ties on Mondays.)
11. Potato, red onion, and goat cheese pizza. It was delicious.
12. Emily brought her serious boyfriend over for dinner, because "Olivier approval is crucial." Big thumbs up!

Sunday thoughts

2011-12-11T22:34:00.003-07:00

Today we went as a family to the monthly Special Needs Mutual sacrament meeting. (Max has been attending regularly, but we have never accompanied him before.)

It was so sweet.

One of the youth counselors spoke. His buddy is a boy with Down's syndrome. His older brother was buddies with the same boy last year! He talked about what he has learned from his buddy in just a few short months — how he feels accepted for who he is, how he has a new, unconditional friend, and the fun they have teasing each other.

Then he helped his buddy to give his talk. He was very difficult to understand, but I was able to pick out the words:

ice cream
Special Needs Mutual
buddy

And when he was finished, he said, "Jesus Christ, AMEN," loudly and clearly and with a look of immense relief on his face. It was pretty adorable.

His mother spoke next about the joys of having him in their family.

Then all the youth and youth counselors (who were sitting on the stand) stood and sang and signed In This Very Room.

In case you haven't heard it, here are the lyrics:

In this very room there's quite enough love for one like me,
And in this very room there's quite enough joy for one like me,
And there's quite enough hope and quite enough power to chase away any gloom,
For Jesus, Lord Jesus ... is in this very room.

And in this very room there's quite enough love for all of us,
And in this very room there's quite enough joy for all of us,
And there's quite enough hope and quite enough power to chase away any gloom,
For Jesus, Lord Jesus ... is in this very room.

In this very room there's quite enough love for all the world,
And in this very room there's quite enough joy for all the world,
And there's quite enough hope and quite enough power to chase away any gloom,
For Jesus, Lord Jesus ... is in this very room.

Even with my antidepressant-induced emotion blocking, I was brought to tears.

Afterward, we were able to meet Max's buddy, Robbie, and his father.

It was a very worthwhile meeting!

a good sign

2011-12-08T19:20:00.003-07:00

My relationship with Eva definitely has its ups and downs. Sometimes she is just so difficult. A lot of whining. A lot of attitude. Even screaming. I try to keep my cool, to be loving yet firm. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes she can't seem to stand me. (And sometimes the feeling is kind of mutual.)

So I hold on to the good times. And when I find something like this note she left for me on the porch, my heart is glad.

Here is what it says:

What to teach me: fun crafts, how to plant seeds and how to make a riethe!!!! (wreath)

This tells me that she still loves me, she wants to be with me, and she wants to learn from me. And I am hopeful that everything is going to be okay.

a year and a half in the making

2011-12-05T21:26:00.003-07:00

Max got his braces off today!

tired, early morning "before" shot

happy "after" shot

He came home from the orthodontist's office with a bag full of previously off-limits treats.

And he requested caramel corn several months in advance. (Sadly, I put too much salt on the popcorn and pretty much ruined the batch. We'll have to have a redo on the celebratory caramel corn!)

Sunday thoughts

2011-12-04T23:04:00.000-07:00

A beautiful thing I heard at church today:

We have a lovely couple in our ward from Japan. They moved here for a few years so they could experience how the church works here, then they plan to go back to Japan and teach others. He blessed their new baby boy today and it was a wonderful blessing. My favorite part was when he blessed his son that he would learn to love and respect women from the influence of his mother and sisters. I loved that.

a lesson learned (I hope)

2011-12-03T21:35:00.004-07:00

Lately, I've been thinking about when I was a little girl. I hated being rushed. I felt like my mom was always saying, "Hurry! Hurry!"

I've hated it ever since. I don't like being in a hurry.

It turns out, Eva doesn't like it, either.

And now I know how my mom felt, why she was always needing to hurry me along.

No matter what time I get Eva up in the morning (and, oh, the irony of having to wake her now when she was such an early riser for such a long time!), I always end up hurrying her along to get ready for school. She is a dawdler par excellence. And I can actually remember being the same way—getting dressed at a snail's pace while watching cartoons.

I don't like being frustrated with her. I don't like starting off my day feeling irritable, and I certainly don't like sending her off to school in tears. So I'm trying to find ways to make our mornings smoother, a little better for both of us.

I've also realized lately that I have overscheduled my life.

This first year of having all of my children in school for a full day left me feeling like I could do anything. Not only that, but that I should do a lot of things—you know, because I finally have the time.

So, when I saw a need in Eva's classroom, I volunteered. I can do that now! When I was asked to be the accompanist for the school's jr. choir, I readily accepted. When they needed someone to be the art coordinator, I said I could do it. I finally have time to attend the stake Institute class! And attend the temple more often! And of course, I still have piano lessons, visiting teaching, my calling in Young Women's, etc. (And no, my cabinets aren't finished yet. Let's not talk about that.)

And now I see that, although technically I can do all of those things, I just don't want to. When I am constantly running from one thing to the next, my quality of life suffers. I'm sure some people love being super-productive every day and have their schedules constantly humming along, but I'm not one of those people. I do not function well if I don't have some time to de-compress, to read, to think, to plan menus and clean out my fridge and exercise and bake cookies.

Before school started this year, I had dreams of daily exercise, cleaning out my studio, sewing, and finally having a clean house. I've done fairly well on the exercise, but the rest has all gone out the window. I haven't sewn one thing or even spent one day in my studio! What the?!

I've been snippy and exhausted—not a very nice mom and not very fun to be around. Well, no more. I'm cutting back where I can and I am determined to take on fewer obligations for the next school year! I'm evaluating more carefully which things are most important to me, and which help bring happiness and balance to my life.

I hope I've learned this lesson. Please remind me not to volunteer for too many things if I forget!

thankful thought #2

2011-12-02T15:02:00.002-07:00

Today I am so thankful for a warm house.

Yesterday afternoon and into the night, the wind was blowing like crazy. It sounded like a hurricane out there. I had to go out to take Eva to and from dance, and Max to and from special needs mutual. Each time, I was oh so happy to come back to my warm house.

Our power was out for a few hours, but others lost power for 36-48 hours. I've been without power for days on end in the winter, and it is not pretty. I was thinking about that yesterday.

Then I started thinking about people can't afford heat or a decent shelter, or are homeless. I can't even imagine.

I have a warm house, and good books to read, and a pretty Christmas tree to sit by, and herbal tea to drink! I feel so blessed.

Creative Friday

2011-11-29T19:26:00.002-07:00

Hooray for Thanksgiving break! We were finally able to get together for Creative Friday.

When Jill first arrived, I thought I was going to lose it. Max was playing piano (even though he knows he's supposed to quit when Jill is here), Eva was whining, and Marc was getting Lucas and Landon hyped up about the next generation of Wii (at one point, right behind us). Oh, and Jack was whining to go outside. Seriously.

Fortunately, things improved.

Jill had wicked cramps, so I set her up with some good pain relief. I speculated that her Advil is expired because they get sick so rarely in her family. Unsurprisingly, mine has a lot of turnover and is therefore very fresh!

I sent her home with a little stash so she could stay on top of the pain.

I started working on an ornament project I've been wanting to try (thank you, Pinterest!).

(Disturbing side note: while making these, I can see my reflection in the glass and I look like Jabba the Hut. I'm not even kidding.)

I find Jill's stash of colored envelopes to be so pleasing! This time, she got us both drinks (hers for medicinal purposes).

Marc offered her a piece of his birthday cake, a precious commodity.

Jill got right to work on her correspondence.

These envelopes are painfully cute! (I had a little thrill when I pulled one out of my own mailbox yesterday.)

At 5:00, her iPhone alarm went off, notifying us that it was Creative Friday. Funny.

She had such a stack of completed good mail items! (16, if I remember correctly.)

By the end of the day, Jill's hand was reduced to what she called "a hideous claw."

And I had made about 4 1/2 ornaments. (As usual, my project ended up taking much longer than I anticipated! Story of my life. I have 12 finished now, though, and on my tree!)

Lucas and Landon finished the day by eating peanut butter sandwiches while playing chess.

Good times for all. (Well, except Eva. She said that if Jill comes over again without bringing Whitney, she will be very angry. I fear she may not recover from the rejection from her "BFF.")

Sunday thoughts

2011-11-27T22:15:00.005-07:00

I've been reviewing my notes from Time Out For Women, and there is so much good stuff in there, I am overwhelmed by it all. So I just picked something that Hilary Weeks shared:

She decided to ask Heavenly Father in her morning prayer each day which one thing was most important for her to do during that day. Most often, her answers were small things, such as emailing a friend or writing a note to her daughter. And frequently, she would discover, after the fact, that following through on that one small act was an answer to someone else's prayer, and a great blessing to herself.

There is a special kind of peace at the end of the day when you know you have done the most important thing you could have for that day. (I would like to experience that!)

Heavenly Father will be as much a part of our lives as we will let him be.

thankful

2011-11-25T22:55:00.003-07:00

Yesterday, I made the best pie crust of my life! (Recipe here.) It must be the chilling of the water and the dough that makes it roll out beautifully - no tearing! And delightfully flaky. I forgot to take a picture of the finished pumpkin pie.

While I was thus engaged, Eva decided to make a "thankful list," and then she went ahead and made blank ones for all of our family members, to be filled out after Thanksgiving dinner. I can't find it right now, but I know that it included family, Jack the dog, feet, and knees.

I sent Max to Target to look for chocolate stars so we could make our chocolate turkeys (I ran out of time on Wednesday), but they were closed. Drat! (But great for their employees.)

We went to Grandma & Grandpa's house for dinner (at noon). It's a bit strange, and also delightful, to not have a lot of cooking to do for Thanksgiving. We all ate too much - except for Lucas and Eva, who ate only cornbread muffins, fruit, and broccoli. Huh.

After dinner, Eva called us all in to watch her movie: Animal Life, The Life Cycle. It included this badger, who is apparently a fruitatarian.

And these squirrels in the Egg Forest. The movie dragged on rather long, and ended with all audience members sprawled on the floor and the couch. They may have been carrying on whispered conversations as well.

Then we all went to the Muppet movie! I have such nostalgia for the Muppets. I watched that show every week and had a Kermit the Frog puppet that I adored. I started to get a little misty during The Rainbow Connection! It felt very holidayish to go to a movie and it was one that all ages could enjoy (even though my kids didn't even know the Muppets).

After the movie, we had pumpkin pie and peanut butter chocolate torte (Marc's birthday dessert). Yes, it was his birthday on Thanksgiving this year. (Not his favorite, but we celebrated on Wednesday.)

The birthday hamster, who sings the Beatles' birthday song. A Winegar birthday tradition. Strangely, I didn't get any photos of the birthday bear and hat.

Bob and Mim had prepared soup and sandwiches for dinner! But none of us could eat another bite.

But there's always room for See's.

Here's what I wrote on my thankful for list:

indoor plumbing
a warm house
family
DVR
chocolate
peanut butter
conditioner
books
Amazon
dishwasher
iPod
socks
yarn
fabric
Pinterest
cameras
temple
soft sheets
tea
KitchenAid
nail polish
hugs
teachers
ice water
stretchy pants
homemade cookies

Eva laughed at many of the items on my list, but then she had to admit that they are all pretty great. So much to be thankful for.

Sunday thoughts

2011-11-20T20:29:00.002-07:00

I went to Time Out For Women this weekend with Mim and Michelle. I had had a crazy day on Friday, a crazy week, actually, so it was a bit hard for me to force myself to go to Salt Lake, but of course it was so worth it. (I knew it would be worth it, so I did it. But I did experience a tiny bit of dread. I will learn one of these days.)

On Friday night, we heard from Brad Wilcox, Hilary Weeks, and Sheri Dew. Yesterday, we heard from Jericho Road, Stephanie Nielson, Emily Watts, S. Michael Wilcox, Wendy Ulrich, and Laurel Christensen. My Sunday thoughts are likely to be taken from these addresses for the next little while.

I'm going to start with Sheri Dew:

If we hope for our young women to become women of God, they need to see what women of God look like—in us.

{She told a story of planting 30-40 new perennial plants, then waking up early the next morning and discovering that they were all uprooted. She had been vandalized a couple of weeks previous, so she called the police. The police came and discovered that the culprit was the 6-year-old girl next door!}

How deep are your spiritual roots? how long have they been planted? have they been watered? nourished? If we are not spiritually rooted, Satan can wreak havoc with us.

What do the things about you that no one can see look like? your faith, your courage, your heart?

We tend to pay way more attention to what's on the outside than what's on the inside.

Some things are just more important than others. What we choose to fill our minds with is far more important than what is on the outside. The inside is the most important.

Elder Holland said that whatever he is in his life, he owes to two women: his mother and his wife. Are we taking advantage of the huge influence that we can have?

We all suffer earthquakes and aftershocks in our lives. What do we do about it?

{She showed pictures of a bridge in Sydney that she and some other TOFW presenters had climbed together, and then spoke of what she learned from the experience.}

If you want to see that spectacular view, you have to make the climb. When we don't progress, there isn't enough medication in the world to make us feel happy about our lives!

It is so much better when we do it together. When we link arms, it propels us upwards.

We were completely safe because we were tethered. The only tether that will take us safely home is to be tethered to Jesus Christ. We need to think about him more, learn about him, and then we will naturally want to follow him and be more like him.

Every spiritual privilege is available to us, if we will seek after it and give it priority.

There is no way to measure or limit the power and influence of righteous women.

Her talk was fabulous; I really wish my notes could do her justice.

thankful thought #1

2011-11-17T15:49:00.002-07:00

So thankful for antibiotics.

This week is infinitely better than last week!

12 on the 12th | November

2011-11-13T14:36:00.004-07:00

1. Snow was in the forecast, but fortunately it was just rainy and cold.
2. Cold enough to require fingerless gloves when I was painting in the garage!
3. My current batch of 5 cupboard doors received their polyurethane coat.
4. I kind of wish I had taken a "before" picture of this job. It took me 2.5 hours to sort through the piles of paperwork that had accumulated on the counter!
5. Jill had been texting me throughout the morning to give me updates on Landon. The poor guy had a bad fall at a campout — this email was notifying me that he broke his elbow! (They spent the day at InstaCare and at Primary Children's Hospital, and he ended up having surgery last night!)
6. Marc strongly suggested that I take a break from painting. (Apparently my painting frustration is making me difficult to be around?) I read for awhile and had a little nap. Glorious.
7. Then I resumed painting. I've been watching (listening to) The Sing-Off while I do my interior painting. I've always been an a cappella fan.
8. The last section of upper cabinets got their polyurethane coat! Whew.
9. Grandma and Grandpa brought Eva back from her ultimate grandparent date of going to Disney on Ice! They also bought her a light-up tiara and an Ariel necklace. Best day ever.
10. Lucas came back from our neighbors' house, where he had evidently helped them to make applesauce, and they sent a bottle for us. (Why does he never help with kitchen projects here?!) It was still warm and very delicious.
11. I went out to get some balloons and treats for Landon.
12. Lucas in his T-birds jacket. We've been seeing that jacket a lot around here! He went to Max's high school for a bonus performance of 3 of the songs from Grease.

veterans day

2011-11-11T22:07:00.002-07:00

Honestly, I never think much about Veterans Day.

We are not a military family; we don't really have any veterans. (Except, wait! My grandpa was in the Navy!)

But I was reading the paper last Sunday, and a little article in Parade magazine caught my eye. It listed 11 ways to help veterans. It had things I had never thought of, so I thought I would post a few of my favorites in case it helps anyone else to provide a service:

- Offer a vet a ride.
The Disabled American Veterans (DAV) provides free transportation to men and women unable to travel to VA medical facilities on their own. You can volunteer to drive a DAV van for those in need.
dav.org/volunteers

- Record a war story.
Do you know an old soldier with tales from the front lines? The Library of Congress wants to hear his/her voice. Go to the website below for tips on conducting an interview or to request a field kit, including biographical data and release forms.
loc.gov/vets

- Put those old cell phones to good use.
Instead of stashing your used phones in the junk drawer, ship them to Cell Phones for Soldiers. For each one donated, the organization will pay for an hour of talk time for troops overseas.
cellphonesforsoldiers.com

- Donate used DVDs.
Drop off movies or television shows at your local VA facility, or mail them to DVDs4Vets, a national organization that distributes them where needed.
dvds4vets.org

- Cut coupons.
Have some expired coupons lying around? Military families can use them for up to six months past their expiration date. (I had no idea!)
coupsfortroops.com

- Share your expertise.
MilServe connects volunteers with vets in many areas; financial counseling or legal services; job search guidance; even carpentry, for building wheelchair ramps.
milserve.org

- Post a care package.
Through the organization Kitchen Table Gang, hospitalized veterans and troops abroad can receive personalized parcels containing everything from candy to board games. Get a service member's address from KTG, bundle up items with a note of thanks, and send them off.
soldierpackages.org

Kinda cool, huh?

Sunday thoughts

2011-11-06T17:52:00.003-07:00

(image from ldstalk.com)

With my family sick for the last few days, there have been greater demands on me: my time, my energy, my patience, my sleep.

Lucas is a good patient, but I find it is still draining to worry about him, make sure his fever doesn't get too high, he has his medicines on schedule, etc. And it was very sad to have to go to his school and tell his drama teacher that he was too sick to make it to Friday's play performance. (I felt terrible for his dance partner.)

Eva is definitely not a good patient. Is it terrible that I wish she would have a fever and just be lethargic or take naps? Instead, she is whiny and frequently complaining about being bored. She is tired of watching movies and reading books. I cannot wait for her to get better and go back to school!

With Marc sick, too, there is no backup, so I am the lone nurse.

This is obviously not an unusual occurrence around here, so you'd think I'd be used to it by now. Or at least better at it.

Last night, I was exhausted. Just tired of nursing everyone. Frustrated that I hadn't been able to make any progress on my painting project due to all the increased needs. Worn down by my too-busy schedule. Wishing that I were the sick one, staying in bed and reading. (Although Michelle pointed out that I would probably only get one day in bed, if that, so it wouldn't really be worth getting sick. Noted.)

I stayed up late working on my lesson for YW. This morning, as Max and I went to church, just the two of us, I was down.

As soon as I sat down in sacrament meeting, I felt buoyed up. There was no particular thing that happened, just the usual singing, prayer, and of course the sacrament. Today was testimony meeting, and it was a good one. But even before any of that, I felt powerfully that just being there was so right. I felt humbled.

I've been struggling this week, but I'm so glad that I went to church today. I was just enveloped in peace, and felt so uplifted and strengthened, it was palpable. Now I feel ready to face the next week, whereas yesterday I felt ready to give up.

So, no major epiphanies today, no particular words that impacted me, just the certain knowledge that the Lord blesses us when we do what we should, when we are where we need to be.

Once again I was reminded that I have never regretted going to church, and I hope I can always remember that.

a debut of sorts

2011-11-04T21:42:00.000-06:00

On Wednesday, we went to opening night for Lucas's first school musical!

The signs, shirts, and programs all specify school edition, lest you think it has the same skanky message as the movie. (Funny, but all that went mostly over my head when I was young and watching it. I just thought it was a fun movie with great songs!) In the school edition, instead of going over to the dark side, Sandy convinces Danny to step into the light.

I was impressed with their set. All of the many hours of hard work paid off! (I couldn't get many photos because of the extremely low light.)

Grandma and Grandpa came to show their support. (Also Max, but he was on the other side of me.)

I loved these columns that they had on either side of the stage.

Lucas told us that it didn't really matter what side of the auditorium we sat in, but ultimately it would have been better if we were on the other side. (Maybe I'll go on closing night and switch it up.) He's sitting back there in the green shirt, pretending to eat lunch and chat with friends.

Frenchie, in the red wig, was played by a girl who was in our former ward, and I think she kind of stole the show.

Just more cute set details and 50's outfits. (Lucas was in the men's chorus and had 3 costumes; who knows how many the leads had!)

Beauty school dropout, obviously.

Here Lucas is on the far left. Because I didn't know what to expect, I totally missed capturing the part where he dances down the middle with his partner. (He was dancing! with a partner! and doing lifts!)

Here he is the guy on the right in the blue jacket. His partner is the girl in the yellow dress.

Obviously I could not get a good photo of him doing Hand Jive (green sweater again).

He has had so much fun with this production. He stayed after school for hours every day for almost two months! He did all kinds of things he's never done before. He met tons of people, in different grades, that he probably wouldn't have otherwise known. He was even motivated to keep his grades up and got a hair cut! (Thank you, Miss Kate.)

He told me he will probably audition for another show in the near future. I am really glad he has had this opportunity.

Sadly, he had to stay home sick yesterday and today. He rallied yesterday afternoon and was able to still do the show, but tonight he was throwing up and had a fever of 103.9! Poor guy. I feel badly for his partner, too. We're all really hoping he will recover quickly and be able to make it for tomorrow night's performance.

Happy Halloween!

2011-10-31T22:15:00.004-06:00

These were the costumes the kids wore to our church Halloween party on Wednesday (the youth put on a carnival for the primary). Max wore his old monk costume (although the glare here doesn't show the creepy bald pate of his wig). Lucas was a bodyguard.

Eva first planned to be a doctor (we have a tiny pair of scrubs that are so cute!), then a jellyfish, then a vampire, and then she set her heart on being a mermaid. I had to drive to Salt Lake to get a mermaid costume that was cute, and then I had to shorten the skirt 9" (by hand) to make it wearable for her. The things we do for our kids.

I ended up buying myself a witch costume at ShopKo, mainly because I was beguiled by the hat, which had tulle, feathers, and a fabric flower. When Eva saw me in it, she said, "sweet costume!"

Today, Max dressed up as Flo, the Progressive lady. (I didn't even know she had a name!)

It totally creeps me out to see him with makeup on. He told me his English teacher wouldn't look at him today! Ha.

Lucas went as a gangsta.

He was highly distressed that several people at school asked him if he was Justin Bieber. That was last year's costume.

Eva was still thrilled to be a mermaid. (She was highly distressed when people called her Ariel. Kind of like the year I made Max a fancy wizard's robe and he was distressed because people kept calling him Harry Potter.)

Apparently Flo was exhausted after school and couldn't stay awake to study chemistry.

When it was time to go trick-or-treating, we discovered that Eva's good friend Ava was also a mermaid! Peas in a pod. (Although Ava actually was Ariel.)

I enjoy seeing my kids get dressed up, be excited, and have a great time. But I totally get now why my mom never like Halloween. Totally.

Sunday thoughts

2011-10-30T22:32:00.003-06:00

There were a lot of great things about church today, including a joint 3rd hour with the Young Men and Young Women, and a stake Standards Night fireside tonight.

But I gave a talk in sacrament meeting on the pursuit of happiness, and I want to remember at least some of it. I can't even remember the things I said that weren't in my notes (there was quite a bit), so I'm just going to post my notes:

“In all of living, have much fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured.” –Gordon B. Hinckley

Pres. Uchtdorf – Forget Me Not

“Our journey toward perfection is long, but we can find wonder and delight in even the tiniest steps in that journey.

“Forget not to be happy now.

“So many people today are waiting for their own golden ticket – the ticket that they believe holds the key to the happiness they have always dreamed about. For some, the golden ticket may be a perfect marriage; for others, a magazine-cover house or perhaps freedom from stress or worry.

“There is nothing wrong with righteous yearnings-we hope and seek after things that are ‘virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy.’ The problem comes when we put our happiness on hold as we wait for some future event-our golden ticket-to appear.”

I have learned in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. Paul (Philippians 4:11)

What are some other things that keep us from being happy?

Sin

Alma 41:10 Do not suppose, because it has been spoken concerning restoration, that ye shall be restored from sin to happiness. Behold, I say unto you, wickedness never was happiness.

Worldly voices beckon to us to follow seemingly good paths, but we need to stay on the path of righteousness. The world’s standards of happiness do not bring true happiness.

“The cause of most of man’s unhappiness is sacrificing what he wants most for what he wants now.” – Gordon B. Hinckley

Satan wants us to see ourselves through the world’s mirrors: distorted, minimized, inferior.

We need to worry less about what others think of us and more about what the Lord thinks of us.

Happiness and peace come when we live in accordance with the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Comparison

Comparison is the fast track to misery. It takes the fun out of life. Make a decision not to do that. Qualify for, receive, and act on personal revelation – the single most important skill we can acquire in this life. This is the best way to avoid comparison because the spirit will tell you how you stand before God, if you are progressing, what you need to change, and how to do it.

We should continually check on the condition of our heart and its openness to his spirit.

When we are filled with the spirit, we have souls that are satisfied. He can fill every need, every longing, every vacuum. This is lasting happiness that no one can take away from you.

Selfishness

“Generally speaking, the most miserable people I know are those who are obsessed with themselves; the happiest people I know are those who lose themselves in the service of others...By and large, I have come to see that if we complain about life, it is because we are thinking only of ourselves.” President Gordon B. Hinckley

Willing service to others is a key to enduring happiness.

“We can rise above mere work and find comfort, joy, and loveliness in our daily lives.” (Sister Dibb) talk about what April taught me about service/servitude

We may not be called to do one great act, but consistent small acts of service, to act as the Savior would do.

“This is not to say that we should abandon hope or temper our goals. Never stop striving for the best that is within you. Never stop hoping for all of the righteous desires of your heart. But don’t close your eyes and hearts to the simple and elegant beauties of each day’s ordinary moments that make up a rich, well-lived life.

“The happiest people I know are not those who find their golden ticket; they are those who, while in pursuit of worthy goals, discover and treasure the beauty and sweetness of the everyday moments. They are the ones who, thread by daily thread, weave a tapestry of gratitude and wonder throughout their lives. These are they who are truly happy.”

“Attempt to be creative for the joy it brings. Being creative will help you enjoy life. It engenders a spirit of gratitude. It develops talents, sharpens your capacity to reason, to act, and to find purpose in life. It dispels loneliness and heartache. It gives a renewal, a spark of enthusiasm, and zest for life.” –Elder Scott

LDS Create (volunteer/contribute/create)

Photos, videos, music, design, writing

I have a Heavenly Father.

He knows me.

He loves me.

He knows what is best for me.

If I follow his plan, I will be happy.

Mosiah 2:41 And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness. O remember, remember that these things are true; for the Lord God hath spoken it.

Creative Friday

2011-10-29T22:23:00.000-06:00

Last Friday was our school district's Fall break, so Jill didn't have to work and we actually had Creative Friday on a Friday! (It's sad how rare they are these days, and I am always thrilled when Jill wants to spend her time off together.)

She brought Cafe Rio for lunch, always a treat. (I have been really struggling with my diet of late — not losing, and therefore not having much motivation to stay on it, which means it's even less likely for me to lose anything. sigh.)

Landon ate his lunch with us and added his apple to the line-up, which totally cracked me up.

This was the view from Jill's side.

Eva had been waiting for a friend to come over for a couple of hours and then got the devastating news that the friend wasn't feeling well and couldn't play after all. I didn't think she was going to recover.

Shockingly, she took me up on my idea of working on her report for school! She's always full of surprises.

Jill brought her laptop with her so she could work on some computer projects. It was a Creative Friday first!

Lucas and Landon played computer games for a little while, sitting on one chair. This shot shows the part of my cabinets that were finished at the time (it's slightly better now). Don't even ask me how that project is going. (From hell.)

I worked on notes—thank you and otherwise. It had been awhile, and it definitely felt good.

Jill even cleaned out her wallet! If it is productive and/or makes you happy, it's good Creative Friday fare.

I made some progress on my button E. It's not that it's a huge project or anything, just that I put it down for long periods without working on it. (Due largely to other projects, such as the aforementioned project from hell.)

Creative Friday is good for the soul. I sure miss having it every week!

books 2011 #32-35

2011-10-27T08:07:00.000-06:00

The Nobodies Album by Carolyn Parkhurst

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Probably more like 3.5 stars.

Author Octavia Frost decides to write a book comprised of alternative endings to all of her previous novels. She is also drawn into a murder mystery involving her estranged son.

Interesting premise. I really enjoyed the writing, although I wished there weren't so much language.

City of Thieves by David Benioff

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Two young men (a deserter and a looter) are charged with a mission: bring back a dozen eggs to make a wedding cake by the deadline and keep their lives. While the premise of this WWII-era book is promising and the characters charismatic and interesting, I just can't recommend it because it is so filled with vulgarity.

Room by Emma Donoghue

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I can't remember the last time a book grabbed me the way Room did. I literally had a hard time putting it down.

Jack and Ma live in Room, a space just 11x11', and Jack has never known anything else. His life is made up of Bed, Wardrobe, Rug, etc. He celebrates his fifth birthday at the beginning of the book, and his is the precocious, yet childlike, voice of the narrator.

Having Jack be the narrator was a brilliant choice because a sense of innocence is preserved, even in the face of some pretty horrific circumstances.

I was stunned by the way that Ma makes a life for Jack in that tiny space, the things she has taught him, that face that he doesn't know his life is lacking anything. As a mother, it is hard to imagine never being able to be apart from my child, even for a minute. As tempting as it would be to let him watch tv all day, she resists the urge and creates a rich life for her son. She is fully engaged with him, and their bond is remarkable. This book made me evaluate my own parenting.

While Jack seems perfectly content, Ma knows all that they are missing and is desperate to escape. I was rooting for Jack and Ma and hoping so much that they would both find happiness. I would have followed them anywhere, and I thought the ending was spot on perfect.

Velva Jean Learns to Drive by Jennifer Niven

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

A sweet Southern story about a plucky girl who grows up mostly without parents but with lots of other family and important people in her life. She just yearns to get out of her small town and make something of herself (she dreams of being a singer in Nashville), and you yearn for her to be able to achieve her dreams. Unsurprisingly, life happens and it looks like she might be stuck for good.

There is just enough real-life stuff here to keep it interesting, and enough redemption to keep it from being heavy. I could recommend this one to anyone.

3.5 stars.

View all my reviews

miscellaneous Monday

2011-10-24T21:25:00.001-06:00

1. Thank you to all of you who have prayed and wondered about my mom. All of her tests proved inconclusive, and she checked herself out of the hospital on Friday. She has a referral for a specialist, and we are hoping and praying that she doesn't end up back in the E.R. She is thrilled to be out of the hospital, and is back at work with a (hopefully) limited schedule.

2. Here is a picture of Marc painting over the last of our old gold color! His painting job is finished, but mine has a loooong way to go.

It's been sheer chaos here for quite some time.

3. While the bookcase was emptied and pulled away from the wall, we decided to fix the outlet behind it so that we can finally have a functioning lamp there again!

I googled how to replace an outlet. It looked like a piece of cake. It wasn't exactly a piece of cake, but Marc did it! (I had to document him being handy.)

4. I am struggling with motherhood right now. I am questioning whether I am really the right mother for these three children of mine. I just can't seem to figure out what to do, what to say. I definitely do not have the answers. Jill reminded me that I am in Parenting 505, but right now I fear I am failing the course.

Sunday thoughts

2011-10-23T19:23:00.006-06:00

{photo from ldschurchtemples.com}

I planned to go to the temple on Tuesday, but my day was really busy and I decided to put it off until Wednesday (maybe even next week). No big deal, I thought.

But at the end of the day Tuesday, I felt terrible. I just knew that I should have arranged my schedule so that I could go to the temple. I determined that I would go on Wednesday morning, despite the fact that Wednesday was a very busy day as well.

After all of the kids had left for school, I finished getting ready and drove to the Provo temple. As I entered the parking lot, I was filled with a great sense of well-being. I could literally feel my stresses and cares dissipating, and I hadn't even entered the building yet!

I knew I was where I was supposed to be. I hope I can remember this feeling.

girls' getaway, part II

2011-10-18T20:51:00.001-06:00

We played cards one night during our Escalante getaway. We started off with Speed, and Melinda kicked our butts, big time. Amie had never played it before, so her pride didn't suffer, but Jill and I have been fans of the game for years.

At one point, Jill said:

"We're all eldest children. We're not accustomed to losing. We're not fond of it." (or something like that)

It was hilarious.

After we felt we had taken a sufficient beating, we switched to what I have heard called Golf, but I usually call "The Skip-Bo Game" (because Melinda had never played it, ha!).

Then it came up that Melinda has Jason Mraz's song Lucky as her husband's ringtone. Jill and I shook our heads in disbelief, but Melinda honestly could not fathom why we would have a hard time with her unbelievably sweet feelings toward her husband. sigh.

One day we had pizza for lunch in the local gas station. It was good! Just one of many firsts on this trip.

Amie's daughter Jessica was up on the bulletin board for hunting and fishing successes! (Lower right corner with the orange vest.) Apparently she loves hunting. Huh. That is all so far outside my own experience.

Amie took us to the Hole-in-the-Rock memorial.

(Incidentally, covered wagons are far narrower than I pictured! I was thinking they would be about as wide as a twin bed, but no.)

The memorial has placards explaining the story, and two large paintings depicting the event. Remember when they talked about this in Conference? I was stunned by the description, and even more so when I saw the paintings. Those pioneers had such amazing faith.

As we were driving along, we would sometimes ask Amie to stop so we could take pictures. I love that Jill and I share this passion, and I think it goes without saying that I love to take pictures of her taking pictures.

I think this is sagebrush in bloom, but I could totally be wrong.

just a lovely scene

I love these old little barns and outbuildings.

Those arrows pointing to major cities in the world gave me a chuckle.

Amie brought us all Sudoku books, Reese's bars, socks, pencils and gum. I did one Sudoku puzzle, the first I've tried since Max and I did some on a plane ride about 5 years ago, and I was distressed that it was hard for me, even though it was marked "easy." Am I not smart enough for Sudoku?! (I'm happy to report that I did two more puzzles while waiting for Lucas at the dentist's office. Shakaka!)

The giant vat of gel in the background is Amie's—she kindly let me use it every time I fixed my hair so I could see how I like it. She is one curly girl who seems to have come to terms with her hair, and she has all her tricks down. Impressive.

One afternoon, Melinda and I watched Persuasion, the most recent BBC version with Rupert Penry-Jones. Mega sigh. I had planned to work on my button E project, but I was so wrapped up in the movie, I didn't get anything done.

I hadn't seen it before, and it seriously hurt my heart. Even though I know things always work out in the end with Jane Austen (of course I couldn't remember the story line), it was still positively painful. And oh so wonderful in the end. I'm telling you, I will watch anything with him in it! (Fell in love with him in MI-5, another great BBC show.)

Jill and Amie were working on projects in a table in the room, laughing at me all the while.

On our way home, Amie took us to Devil's Garden (I hope I'm remembering that right). It was only 13 miles out of our way, but they were the longest, bumpiest 13 miles of my life. We don't have cars equipped for that kind of driving!

It was so cool. Jill and I were speculating on what could have possibly caused those interesting rock formations, isolated in the midst of normal desertscape. Jill thought it must have been under water at some point. Amie and Melinda found a placard and told us that that was indeed the case! (Maybe she missed her calling as a geologist?)

Obviously I didn't have my rock-climbing shoes on. (Not that I have any.)

Devil's Garden self-portrait.

It was a fabulous day—no snow, thankfully!

Love. I am such a fan of these red rocks. I really want to go to Bryce Canyon, Arches, and back to Zion National Park. Even though I'm not much of a climber, it's a photographer's paradise!

Check out that reflection!

Amie indulged us by pulling off at many a scenic turn-out on the way home.

How cute is this tiniest post office in Boulder, UT?

Amie showed us where her husband and kids were camping and hunting on the mountain. It was totally snowy, and apparently they love it that way, it makes for good hunting. Just one of the many reasons I don't camp/hunt.

Apparently there are 1,000 lakes on Boulder Mountain!

There was one narrow pass we went over that forced me to close my eyes in order to avoid panicking. A tiny road with steep drop-offs on either side—and no guardrails, even! I thought Amie was very composed to be able to drive that stretch. I'm pretty sure I could not handle it.

landscape shot through the window of the moving car

To sum up: Escalante is terribly picturesque; we stayed in a very nice, comfortable home; we talked and laughed a lot; we explored; we relaxed; we read; we ate out; we had no responsibilities. It was wonderful.

And then I came home to a sick family and a house that looked like a bomb had gone off in it. I was ready to turn around and go back. I hate it when I feel like I need a vacation after my vacation.

Sunday thoughts

2011-10-16T21:17:00.002-06:00

Last weekend (when I was in Escalante), I found out that my mom was admitted to the hospital. She had internal bleeding and her blood volume was only half what it should normally be. She was also extremely anemic. She received 3 units of blood and an iron transfusion.

There was some concern that she might have cancer, but the doctors did some tests and ruled that out. Ultimately, they couldn't figure out what was wrong, but she was stronger and was released a few days later.

I was really worried about her and hated being so far away and feeling helpless. So I did the only thing I could do—I prayed.

Marc's mom put my mom's name on the temple prayer roll and Michelle fasted for her. I was very emotional that they would do these things for my mother.

Anyway. She was home and she went back to her crazy work schedule. And this Friday, she was re-admitted. She again received 3 units of blood and an iron transfusion. Because of all of the tests that require her to fast, she hasn't eaten much of anything in almost 2 weeks. The doctors still don't know where she is bleeding or what is causing the problem. She will be transferred to a university hospital on Tuesday for further testing.

Here's the thing: I do what I can to nourish my testimony. I tend to think I am doing pretty well in the faith department. And then I am faced with a trial, and I feel like I start to fall apart. I worry, I stress, I feel kind of sick to my stomach. What is that about? I absolutely know that things will be okay in the end. Always. But when I don't know what will happen, I struggle with that. I don't know if things will be okay in the short term. What happens to my faith? Am I a fair-weather believer? I really don't want to be, but sometimes I wonder.

I've been attending our stake adult Institute class whenever I can. I went on Thursday, and was so glad I did. We discussed Genesis 18-33, and this verse really stuck out to me:

Genesis 18:19
For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the judgment; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.

We talked about how wonderful it would be if the Lord could be as confident in each of us as he was in Abraham, if he could say:

For I know him [or her], that he [or she] will. . .

I want to work toward being the kind of person that the Lord can count on to do whatever he asks of me, whether it be a trial, a sacrifice, helping someone else, following the promptings of his Spirit.

Our teacher told us that obedience is the power of the prophets. I guess I know what I need to do!

12 on the 12th | October

2011-10-15T22:13:00.002-06:00

1. Eva playing games on nickjr.com before getting ready for school.
2. I got to pull off the tape from the first section of cupboards. Such a satisfying moment. (So very much more to go on that project.)
3. I decided to cook myself something good for breakfast (scrambled eggs with mushrooms, green onions, and fresh parmesan).
4. A picture at Eva's school that is made of the students' school pictures.
5. Eva's "All About Me" report hanging in the school hallway.
6. It was my first day of teaching art to Eva's class and this is the darling book I read to the kids. I highly recommend it.
7. Some of the kids working on their project (making a picture with only dots).
8. Eva sitting at her desk. She was positively preening to have me there (these are the days that end all too soon).
9. I love these fall sunsets where the mountains are pink.
10. I snapped this picture while Max was driving us to mutual.
11. I tried a new recipe to take to mutual (peanut butter pretzel bars). It didn't work out very well—way too crumbly—but it still tasted good.
12. One of our Laurels showed us a slide show of her trip to Europe.

girls' getaway part I

2011-10-14T12:23:00.000-06:00

Last weekend I went on a girls' getaway to Escalante. Amie's parents bought a second home there, and she invited us to escape for a few days. She warned us to have low expectations, but I thought that was just silly. What could be better than a few days of getting away from it all and having no responsibilities?

(I am posting about this in two parts—I have enough photos for more than two posts, but with the way blogging is going for me lately, I figure that's more than ambitious!)

The weather was definitely weird for our travel day on Thursday. Rain, snow in the mountains, and then even snow on the ground!

We stopped for lunch at this funny little restaurant that had model trains running. Some of the cars had baby pumpkins!

Amie realized that she had Jimmy's elk caller (is that even right?) in her car, and Jimmy was taking the kids hunting, so she stopped at a truck stop and left this envelope for him. The employees were a bit sketchy on the plan, but we found out later that Jimmy did indeed get his package. I thought that was pretty smart, I don't know that I would have thought of this plan!

The truck stop had a petting zoo, with a zebra! We thought it was amusing that there were no pets allowed, and disturbing that there picnic tables set up right by the smelly animals. As if.

We stopped in Panguitch so that Amie could show us this cool quilt-walkers memorial. I loved the way the metal looked just like a quilt being shook out, it has such movement.

Did you know this story? I had never heard it before and thought it was pretty interesting.

The road to Escalante goes right by Bryce Canyon. Now I want to go back to check that out.

Love those red rocks.

Escalante is a tiny town, with a population of about 500. This is Amie's parents' home, isn't it cute? Her mom thinks it's too far out of town, but the town is so small, it's not very far at all.

It's a nice big home, and we each had our own bedroom—what a luxury! The whole time we were there, I couldn't stop thinking about how difficult it would be to outfit an entire second home.

Amie's mom is a quilter and there were quilts everywhere. I love the colors in this one (I don't think I would have thought to add black, but it's perfect!) It reminded me of how much I want to make quilts for my own home (most of the ones I've made have been gifts).

These are the combined snacks we all brought. I totally fell off the diet wagon.

Amie took us to see Jimmy's grandmother's house. It was totally like going back in time. I swear it's a museum!

Check out the cool turquoise in this back entry! I was in love. (I'm thinking of repainting my front door in a similar color.)

Look how she stores her dishes and glasses! Holy moly, I can't imagine what a pain it must be to get things out and put them away. (But it sure does look cute.) And her cabinets are very close to the color I'm painting mine!

Her flatware is engraved with an E for Evadean. Love it.

We were all quite taken with this framed note from her father. Don't we all wish we had something like that? (I love that he signed it Mr.)

Just a building I liked in town.

Escalante has 3 restaurants, one grocery store, one bank, one thrift store, etc. We went to the thrift store. I had to buy these books, just because they are so cute! (Totally thought of you, Charlotte.) I also bought two silver lamé dresses for Eva to play dress-up. (I originally bought one, and then Jill suggested I was being short-sighted. I bought the second one for one of Eva's friends to wear as well!)

I had Amie stop the car so I could take a picture of these cows for Max (he loves cows). Don't they look like they're posing?

It was delightful to not have any plans. Jill and I both spent a lot of time reading, such a delight. Here she is on the back porch with her Kindle.

And me on the couch reading my book for book club. (A truly fascinating read.)

I brought some projects to work on, but never really got to them (other than a little knitting). The other girls set up their projects on the kitchen table.

Jill worked on a photo book on her laptop, and Melinda made tons of cute hair accessories for her daughters.

Amie worked on scrapbooking.

I made this delicious-looking mix from Our Best Bites for a treat one night. Sadly, it looked and sounded better than it tasted to me. (It was pretty good right after I made it, but then it got hard and crunchy. Less than ideal.) Fortunately, Jill's mom had sent us with a big bag of her famous caramel corn! It never disappoints.

Here Jill is holding a clump that looks like Africa.

more to follow...

what's keeping me busy

2011-10-01T12:10:00.004-06:00

While Marc is busily engaged in painting our main living area (i.e., the biggest area of our house), I am working on painting our kitchen cabinets.

It quickly became apparent that this is an even bigger project than I anticipated, and I already thought it was pretty big (thus the 5 years or so I've been putting it off).

It took me two days to thoroughly wash the cabinets, remove the hardware, and putty in the holes that we will no longer need once we get new hardware.

I'm only taking off a few doors at a time.

I only have room to do 4 or 5 doors at a time. (I started on the kitchen table, but have since moved to a table in the garage.)

I discovered that I have to do two coats of primer, because apparently I have a hard time applying it thickly enough. So: two coats of primer, then turn the doors over and two coats of primer on that side. Then two coats of paint, turn the doors over and apply two coats of paint to the other side. The guy who helped me at Sherwin Williams claimed I would not need to apply varnish if I used the right kind of enamel paint, but I have my doubts. So, I will probably apply varnish as well.

That's pretty much what I've done for the last 10 days (in addition to my usual life things such as: visiting teaching, presidency meetings, lesson preparation, piano lessons, meal prep, laundry, driving kids, etc.).

I have 29 cabinet doors and 12 drawer fronts. And I have to paint the framing of the cabinets.

What I thought would maybe be an intensive 2-week project is looking like it will take a lot longer.

Have mercy.

Creative Friday

2011-09-28T16:07:00.000-06:00

Monday was a minimal day, which means that everyone gets out of school extra-early, which means that Jill and Landon came over for Creative Friday! I never cared much for minimal days in the past, but now they're my new favorite days.

Lucas and Landon were excited to get together as well.

All I can say is that there's nothing like a photo to give you a reality check. Wow.

I had planned to work on putting some fabric in embroidery hoops for Eva's room, but ended up spending most of my time printing out worksheets for Conference this weekend.

Max took himself to his cello lesson (hallelujah!) and then joined us at the table to do homework. He signed himself up for 5 AP classes this semester, so the poor guy is almost always doing homework.

Eva joined us temporarily so she could draw a surprise for the end of the treasure hunt she made for Ava.

Jill working on her correspondence.

I can't remember what made Jill start laughing, but I thought it was adorable.

I put together these little handouts for my Beehives. (Apparently I neglected to mention that I was moved from YW secretary to 2nd counselor! oops.) It's just a token to help get them excited for Conference weekend! (Again, I love Pinterest.)

Also, I transferred a giant E to this pink fabric I bought last week. I'm going to sew vintage cream-colored buttons all over it and hang it on Eva's wall. Squeee!

Hooray for reconnecting. Hooray for Creative Friday (on Monday)!

Sunday thoughts

2011-09-25T23:22:00.002-06:00

I attended the Relief Society general broadcast last night. It's kind of like a Conference sneak preview, of sorts—a good way to kick off the week before one of my favorite weekends of the year.

I particularly loved President Uchtdorf's talk. He has such a way of speaking with humor and directness. You really feel that he understands us, and tells it like it is. He is real and uplifting at the same time.

5 things it would be wise not to forget:

1. Forget not to be patient with yourself.

God is fully aware that we are not perfect. It is part of our mortal experience to have weaknesses, and He wants to help us turn all our weaknesses into strengths.
Be compassionate and patient with yourself.
Celebrate all of the small successes in your life and in your family. Our journey toward perfection is long and we should celebrate every small step along the way.

2. Forget not the difference between a good sacrifice and a foolish sacrifice.

Some sacrifices are better than others.
Am I committing my time and energies to the things that matter most?

3. Forget not to be happy now.

Many people today are waiting for their golden ticket—that magical thing they think will ensure their future happiness. It could be a certain job, a dream home, a fervently-desired blessing. If we spend our days waiting for fabulous roses, we could fail to notice the beautiful forget-me-nots that are all around us.
The happiest people are those who notice and celebrate the beauty and wonder of everyday life.

4. Forget not the "why" of the gospel.

We sometimes view the gospel as a list of obligations to fit into our already busy lives. The gospel of Jesus Christ is not an obligation—it is a pathway to happiness. It should cease to be a burden and instead become a delight.
Seek out the beauty and majesty of the why—it transforms our small acts of obedience into larger acts of consecration.

5. Forget not that the Lord loves you.

No matter how dark your days, no matter how insignificant you may feel, you are not forgotten. You are loved by the king of heaven and of earth.
You are closer to heaven than you suppose.

I loved this meeting. I felt inspired, strengthened, and uplifted. This was just the appetizer. I can't wait for the full meal next weekend!!

books 2011 #26-31

2011-09-22T12:36:00.000-06:00

A Red Herring Without Mustard by Alan Bradley

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

For some reason, I didn't love this one quite as much as the other Flavia books. It wasn't a page-turner for me in the same way.

But I still love Flavia, and I will still read any and all books Bradley writes about her.

I particularly loved the ending. Of course Father is proud of her!

A favorite passage:

I had long ago discovered that when a word or formula refused to come to mind, the best thing for it was to think of something else: tigers, for instance, or oatmeal. Then, when the fugitive word was least expecting it, I would suddenly turn the full blaze of my attention back onto it, catching the culprit in the beam of my mental torch before it could sneak off again into the darkness.

"Thought-stalking," I called the technique, and I was proud of myself for having invented it.

3.5 stars.

A Heart Like His: Making Space for God's Love in Your Life by Virginia H. Pearce

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Another thought-provoking book by Virginia Pearce.

My favorite thing is the idea that we don't have to find more time in our busy lives to reach out to others – we don't have to bake more (not that I would mind that) or make time for more visits. All we have to do is pay attention to the condition of our hearts and desire to have softer, more open hearts so that we can feel God's love in our own lives and then have more of that love to give away. Awareness is the key.

I've only been trying it for a short while, but I can already tell a difference.

Some favorite quotes:

"Opening one's heart creates energy. Closing one's heart depletes energy."

"When filled with God's love, we can do and see and understand things that we could not otherwise do or see or understand. Filled with His love, we can endure pain, quell fear, forgive freely, avoid contention, renew strength, and bless and help others in ways surprising even to us." – John H. Groberg

"We cannot help others feel God's love when we are: irritated, critical, discouraged, annoyed, self-absorbed, angry, indignant, or filled with self-pity, hostility, or bitterness."

"When we experience God's love, we feel: acknowledged, accepted, validated, noticed, cared for, supported, encouraged, uplifted, motivated, inspired, comforted, healed, nourished, nurtured, changed, more confident, more able – precisely the ways we want others to feel when they are with us!"

"It is very often in the act of reporting that the Holy Ghost chooses to witness and confirm the actions. And ultimately, it is the confirmation of the Spirit that provides the best motivation to keep doing good things."

The Whistling Season by Ivan Doig

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I might even give it 4.5 stars, if I could.

I loved the writing. I read on the cover that Doig won a Wallace Stegner aware, and his writing does remind me of Stegner's (which I also love). It is very character-driven, so if you are a plot reader, you may not enjoy it as much. This is definitely a slice of life, beautifully rendered.

That said, I loved the characters. I especially loved Paul and Morrie, but I also adored Oliver and Rose and all the rest.

After reading this book, I feel like I understand so much more about the old one-room schools. It's so interesting the way that the material taught to one grade impacted the other grades as well. (And I had never imagined those young children riding to school on horseback!) Paul's love of and defense of the one-room schools was so endearing - his education and success came as a result of that training, not in spite of it.

I didn't come away from this book wanting to learn Latin, but rather just feeling thrilled that Paul found something that ignited his passion for learning and excited his curiosity so much. You just never know what provide that kind of spark.

A Girl Named Zippy by Haven Kimmel

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

4.5 stars.

This book is a rarity – a memoir of a happy childhood! Zippy is hilarious, a curious, scrappy girl trying to make sense of her idiosyncratic family, her friends, and the small town in which they reside. Great small-town characters, as you would expect.

I breezed through this in one day, laughing all the while. It's been a long time since I read a book that was this purely enjoyable. I loved Zippy, her family, and her town. Her parents are a little gruff on the outside and tender on the inside. I found the ending particularly sweet.

A favorite passage:

"We played Ping-Pong for a little while, but it didn't go well. I was completely unskilled and Dana played so hard her shots often went right off the table, and so I spent a fair amount of time searching the corners of the barn. (I later discovered that in order to be a good athlete one must care intensely what is happening with a ball, even if one doesn't have possession of it. This was ultimately my failure: my inability to work up a passion for the location of balls.)"

Ah, a kindred spirit (at least athletically speaking).

The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane by Kate DiCamillo

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Eva and I both thoroughly enjoyed this endearing story of a vain, china rabbit who becomes lost and then found several times and learns the meaning of love along the way. Wonderful illustrations, as well.

When we finished it, Eva sighed and said, "The stories I read with you are the best stories." I can't think of a better endorsement than that.

Garden Spells by Sarah Addison Allen

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Maybe 3.5 stars.

This is a light, fun, quick read about a family in a small town in North Carolina where the women have magical gifts. They also have a fabulous garden with an apple tree that throws its apples at people, trying to entice them to eat. If they do, they will dream about the biggest event in their lives (which, for some, is their death).

The characters are on the one-dimensional side, yet still likable and fairly believable. Claire is a caterer who uses herbs and flowers from her garden to help people feel what they want to (or she wants them to) feel. Sydney returns home to escape an abusive marriage and provide her daughter with the safety and security of the family home. Evanelle is their aunt who is compelled to give people gifts, which eventually come in handy in their lives. Bay is a little girl who instinctively knows where things (and people) belong. A quirky family finding love and happiness together.

View all my reviews

a few major things

2011-09-20T15:50:00.001-06:00

Eva lost her first tooth!

She was annoyed by the fact that it hadn't fallen out yet. It was causing her grief when she ate or brushed her teeth. So one night, I just took a tissue like my grandma used to, put it over the tooth, and yanked. It was very loose, and it came right out. She was thrilled.

I got out of bed at midnight when I realized that I had forgotten to perform my tooth fairy duties. She was happy about the money, but disappointed that the tooth fairy took her tooth away. At school the next day, the class dentist (they all have different rotating jobs in their "town") asked if anyone had lost a tooth and she was so happy to report her big event.

Lucas got a haircut!

Not his usual trim where he negotiates about how little he can get cut off, but an actual haircut. Miss Kate, the school drama director, told him he was going to have to have a new 'do for Grease. I was shocked that he opted to comply 6 weeks in advance. Thank you, Miss Kate, thank you!

Now I am trying to give him positive feedback without making a big deal out of it (so that he will want to grow it out long again just to rebel against me). I think he looks so much like my brother when he was about the same age.

Max got his driver's license!

It was shockingly easy. We went in with a pile of documentation and they never even looked at it! He didn't have to get his picture taken because he is using the one from his permit. He didn't have to take a written or a driving test because he has a certificate that he passed them in Driver's Ed. (which they didn't even look at). They just checked his vision, I paid the fee, he received a brief lecture on being responsible and staying in good with his mother (since I paid for it, I own it until he is 18) and that was it! No waiting, even. It was certainly a different experience from when I got my license—I had to take the written and the driving test and failed the driving test the first time because when I parallel parked, I wasn't close enough to the curb. Huh.

Also, he went on his first date about a week ago! He is so shy, I wondered if it might take him years to embark on this particular milestone. He planned the whole thing, arranged a group date, and had a great time. I could not be more shocked (and happy for him).

We went to our elementary school's Fall Festival on Friday. I didn't take my camera because it was stormy. Eva was disappointed that, due to inclement weather, the ponies weren't there. She was determined to ride one this year. They did, however, have a petting zoo that she thoroughly enjoyed: a 500-lb. pig, a pot-bellied pig, a llama, a cow, a baby goat, a chicken, and a rabbit on a leash. She also went on a golf cart ride, did the duck pond and fish pond games, took a couple of turns in the bounce house (a huge hit), played bean bag toss and ring toss, tried the cake walk and the soda pop walk, and ate cotton candy. It's an enormously anticipated event.

She won this in the soda pop walk.

Marc started repainting our main living area!

He spent all weekend prepping and painting one wall, and putting everything back into place. Now I'm not sure I love the color we selected. It doesn't look like the sample to me. It's cooler and just not what I pictured. Marc is so frustrated he can barely talk about it. I can't blame him a bit. And I'm pretty sure we will never paint again without getting a test quart.

I'm living with it for a couple of days before we decide how to proceed...

Sunday thoughts

2011-09-18T20:43:00.004-06:00

A couple of weeks ago, I was riding high, spiritually speaking.

We had had several weeks of exceptionally great meetings at church. I was praying more intently, and receiving answers. I was reading thought-provoking spiritual books. I was reading the Ensign. I was thinking a lot about the things I was reading.

Fast forward to today. Today was pretty good, actually, but last Sunday I had to stay home from church. Last week I was dealing with sickness on multiple fronts. I was tired, I missed church, I had to skip the Relief Society temple trip, and I wasn't doing any spiritual reading. And I could really feel it. It was like I was... deflated. The lightness I had been experiencing was just gone.

Is that all it takes?

A few days of slipping on my personal spiritual study and one week of missed church and I felt like I was taking a nosedive? Wow.

Such a stark contrast. Whereas before I was feeling tuned in, strong, open, and willing, I quickly (so quickly!) got to the point where I was just feeling listless, closed off, and strangely apathetic.

I definitely know which I prefer. So now I know what I have to do.

12 on the 12th | September

2011-09-14T23:29:00.002-06:00

Oh joy, another sick day on the 12th!

1. Making lunches for the boys was just about the only productive thing I did all day!
2. The flag in our yard, viewed from the window.
3. Feverish Eva, with a cold compress—Saltines and Gatorade at the ready.
4. And a bowl, just in case.
5. Dinosaurs keeping watch.
6. Not a good time to run out of children's Tylenol.
7. We watched Beverly Hills Chihuahua, one of Eva's favorites.
8. Zinc drops for me.
9. I read Sunday's paper, which had some great stories about 9/11, then and now.
10. I took Nyquil before going to bed.
11. There were 11 medicine cups in the dishwasher.
12. I settled into bed with tissues, cough drops, and a great book.

reconciliation

2011-09-13T22:36:00.001-06:00

Recently, after I picked Eva up from playing at her friend's house (I should point out that she left very reluctantly), she informed me that she "had to pray a lot while she was there."

Ummm... what?

I asked her what she had to pray about, and apparently she was concerned that her friend would hurt her (I guess they found an arrow of some sort).

We've had this friend over many times and she has always been sweet and fun, so I was surprised that Eva would have felt fearful with her (especially since she didn't even want to leave her house!).

Ever since, Eva has not wanted to play with one of her formerly best friends, so I set about to see if we could come to some sort of reconciliation. I planned a trip to Bridal Veil Falls, and invited Riley to come along. (I figured that getting together on neutral territory might be easier. Eva agreed.)

Emily joined us, as well, although I neglected to document that fact with a single photo. (She even brought me a fountain drink!)

Eva: "Riley, you will love Emily!"
R: "But what if I don't?"
E: "Don't worry, everyone loves Emily!" (It's true.)

Riley is much more adventurous than Eva. She kept wanting to climb the steep hill to the other path. Eva wanted to join her – especially since there were many snail shells to be found – but she was definitely out of her comfort zone.

At one point, Eva screamed, "Save me! I'm going to die here!" Fortunately, Max was on hand to rescue her.

They threw sticks off the bridge and then ran to the other side to watch them float down the river. Unfortunately, they couldn't see the sticks. Perhaps they were too small.

Emily spotted many cool spiderwebs. I took pictures of them, but couldn't tell if any of them were turning out. They were!

We met this adorable Weimaraner puppy, Dante. His owner let the girls pet him and give him little treats, but he was shaking with a combination of excitement and trepidation. Adorable.

They paused for a little picnic.

Teamwork.

There was much hand-holding, which I took to be a good sign. (Check out that height difference!)

We finally made it up to the falls. I love that we live so close to beautiful places like this!

Again, Eva was braver than I thought she would be. She stepped on rocks and walked on a log. She ended up getting wet up to her chest! Brrrr.

Again, Max came to the rescue. Riley dropped her lunch bag because it had a spider on it, and the girls refused to go back and retrieve it. Luckily, Max is not (that) afraid of spiders.

It was a beautiful day and I think my mission reconciliation was accomplished. (Now if only Eva can go back to school soon!!)

Sunday thoughts

2011-09-11T17:34:00.003-06:00

Eva and I stayed home sick today.

I recorded and then watched the program with Tom Brokaw that showed the coverage of memorial ceremonies in New York, Washington, and Pennsylvania.

On this day, 10 years after the terrorist attacks on 9/11, I thought I remembered it pretty vividly.

Then I re-watched the coverage that I watched live, of the planes hitting the towers, and the towers collapsing; of people screaming and running, the clouds of dust, the firefighters.

Oh. Now I really remember. The shock. The horror.

So many people died–some because they just went to work. Some because they were first responders. Some because they were heroes.

Then, I had a 6-year-old and a 2-year-old. Now, I have a 16-year-old, a 12-year-old, and a 2-year-old. So much has changed in those ten years. In some ways it feels as though nothing is the same.

Then, the country was so united. Now, not so much.

I watched children and other loved ones of those who died that day speak of their love, their determination to make their mothers, fathers, husbands, wives proud.

I am grateful for people who would sacrifice everything, even their lives, to help others. I am grateful for the freedoms we enjoy, and all those who serve us to preserve those freedoms. I am grateful for my knowledge that we have a Heavenly Father who loves us, for our Savior and his sacrifice for us, for the plan that ensures that loved ones will be reunited again; for my knowledge that when we trust in the Lord, nothing can ever go permanently wrong.

before & after

2011-09-08T23:18:00.004-06:00

Today I decided to tackle the monstrosity that is my bedside table. Periodically, I go through and organize the books in the basket, but it seems that in no time, it looks like this:

Blech.

I decided to swap out the bedside table for a really cute little cart that Marc bought recently at D.I. for $3.00.

I had originally planned to spray-paint it with the same bright green paint we used for the frames above our bed, but when I brought it up to our bedroom, I discovered that I loved it just the way it was! (But I did spend about 45 minutes scrubbing it down.)

Like just about every other project I ever embark on, this one took much longer than I anticipated.

But it is finished and it makes me happy!

I wonder how long it will look like this?

(terrible photos due to terrible lighting in our room, but... I had to show the results anyway!)

p.s. Eva saw my old table in the hallway and said, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?!" I knew what she was thinking, alright. I moved it in next to her bed (she has been pining after a bedside table). The scale is off for her room, but it is there for now and she is thrilled.

an adjustment period

2011-09-06T14:21:00.000-06:00

It would appear that the start of first grade is quite an adjustment period.

I suppose it would have been for Max and Lucas as well, but I just don't remember. Maybe because I had another little one at home to distract me at the time.

She couldn't wait for kindergarten to be over so she could move on to first grade. She couldn't wait to get a lunch box so she could take her lunch to school and stay all day. I was similarly excited.

But now that it's here, there have been quite a few mornings where she hasn't wanted to go to school.

Maybe she needs more sleep – maybe she's just a little tired and cranky. Maybe her little cold is getting her down. Maybe she misses having lots of time at home (I could certainly understand that).

Maybe that big backpack weighs more heavily on her shoulders than I thought.

Even more surprising to me than her school reluctance is the way I miss her when she's gone. (Not enough to keep her home, mind you!) Especially when she goes to play with a friend after school, then I feel as though I've hardly seen her all day, and it is such a stark contrast to having my little buddy around all the time.

But then she starts whining about not wanting to clean her room or practice piano and I remember what it's like having a constant buddy all the time.

I tell you, motherhood is perpetually perplexing.

Sunday thoughts

2011-09-04T21:24:00.003-06:00

Recently a member of our stake presidency (also a member of our ward) came in to talk with us in Young Women's.

He spoke of the tender feelings of his heart – his grandson had died just a day or two prior to his visit. This little boy was born prematurely, had many health problems, and had spent most of his short life in Primary Children's Hospital. As he related to us the details of his grandson's last day on earth, he could barely speak for the tears that were falling. I'm sure all of us felt heartbroken as well as we imagined those poor parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and everyone else who loved little Johnny.

He told us that he had been called upon to give many Priesthood blessings in the preceding days and weeks, and that each time he did, he felt the adversary trying to overwhelm him. In fact, he felt like Satan was out to get him, really bearing down on him as he tried to do what was right.

This became very difficult to endure, and ultimately he felt the need to say aloud: "I choose Jesus Christ," at which point he could physically feel the adversary retreating.

I was so struck by his words, and have been thinking about them ever since. How powerful it is when we choose the Savior and His way!

What if my children and all of our youth could catch the vision of being empowered by choosing Jesus Christ? What if I could remember this on an hour-by-hour basis? It would change everything. Temptations would be easier to withstand; judgment would disappear; others would become more important to me than myself; love and peace would fill my heart.

I am notoriously forgetful, but this something worth remembering, so I will give it my best effort.

I want to choose Jesus Christ today and every day.

snippets

2011-09-02T20:59:00.001-06:00

Just a few of the things happening around here lately:

I had a bunch of blood drawn last week so my doctor could check all sorts of things. She called to say that everything looks good except I am vitamin D deficient. I was surprised because I take a D3 supplement (1000 IU). She wants me to take 4000 IU daily! Wow.

I went to the little farmer's market at BYU with Emily last week. It was tiny, but had some great produce. I bought tomatoes, peaches, and lime mint (it smells so divine). Lots of all three things, and only $9! I'm so glad Em is back at BYU (and with a car, to boot!).

This is Eva's excitement over buying school lunch for the first time on pizza day.

And this is her excitement over riding the bus home with a friend after school. Riding the bus is only that exciting when you don't have to do it day after day! (Personally, I rode the bus straight through to my senior year and hated it.)

I went to the temple this week and was pleased to feel the all-encompassing peace that prevails there. It is such a good feeling to step away from the world for a little while and just be utterly at peace. It feels so right.

I stopped to admire the zinnias on my way out and saw that they are underplanted with parsley! I never would have thought of that. (Is it a bug-repellent? Jane?)

I went to Costco yesterday to stock up. I haven't done that properly for about 2 months or so. I knew it was going to be expensive, but it was shockingly so. I'll send some good mail to the person who comes closest to guessing my total!

I got an email from the library saying that I had an overdue book–so overdue, in fact, that an additional $5 in fines had accrued and it was going to collections if I didn't turn it back in ASAP! I looked around Eva's room and found this. (It costs $4.99 new, by the way.) Good grief.

Ballet has started up again and Eva is thrilled about wearing all of the new dance clothes that Grandma Susan brought! Sure I'm biased, but I think she's the cutest girl at the studio.

In addition, I have:

gone out to lunch with one of my friends that I visit teach
exercised almost every day!
signed up to be a room mom for Eva's class
contemplated going to the daytime Institute class
done some leisurely reading
mowed the lawn
cleaned the burner drip pans with a method I found out about on Pinterest (put in Ziploc bags with a little ammonia and leave outside overnight)
made homemade Oxi-Clean (also on Pinterest)
sorted through the horrid basket/stacks of books, magazines and knitting paraphernalia by our couch
done some organizing in my studio (namely fabric)
done some returns (always something I procrastinate)
paid the bills
watched 5 episodes of Luther on Netflix

Life is good.

wordless Wednesday

2011-08-31T12:28:00.000-06:00

a last hurrah

2011-08-30T22:29:00.000-06:00

I decided that we had to cram in some more summer fun during the last week before school started.

It started with our second (gasp!) trip to Seven Peaks. (The boys went 3 or 4 times, but we only all went together twice! At that rate, it might have been cheaper to just buy the day passes.)

I forgot to take my camera – this photo is from our first foray of the season. The long lines we had to wait in while everyone's bags were checked for contraband food/drinks were enough to make you want to scream. It was much better the last time we went.

We took Landon and Eva's friend Riley with us. Eva got really brave and finally went on a few slides – the kiddie ones. Riley was disappointed that she didn't want to go on the big ones!

At one point in the wave pool, I was in serious trouble. Eva had her life jacket on and was sitting on top of the waves, but Riley, who is a good swimmer, was getting mouthfuls of water and was holding onto me for support. It was too deep for me to stand, so I was treading water and trying to hold her up to the surface. Waves kept crashing over my head and I was choking and starting to feel panicked. For a second, I feared the life guard was going to have to jump in after me, and the next second I was hoping she would! She didn't even see me. So reassuring. I managed to drag us all to the edge. I really wish I were a stronger swimmer.

The next day was Lucas's friend birthday party. We took him and a bunch of his friends to play laser tag. Of course I forgot to get any pictures of that.

In the short time that I was with his friends, I rediscovered that I really do not like one of them very well. All he could talk about was girls (in not the most respectful of terms), and when he wasn't doing that, he was putting down some of Lucas's other friends.

I didn't want to make a huge deal out of it and possibly make said friend more attractive somehow, so I just quietly told Lucas later that I was uncomfortable with the way this friend was talking and behaving. I hope it sinks in.

Fortunately, Lucas requested donuts from Costco! Even though I love baking cakes, I really wasn't up to another one that week.

Everyone had donuts and milk and then after Lucas opened his gifts, I took them all home. Easiest party ever.

Lucas totally scored on his gifts with money, iTunes cards, and treats. He was thrilled.

The next day, I took everyone to Trafalga (including Landon and Riley). Thankfully, Landon didn't mind spending a third day in a row with us, because Landon is such a good friend and a great influence that he is always welcome!

Max and Landon on the climbing wall.

We all played laser tag together, a first for Eva and me. I wish I had pictures of that, it was hilarious. I could not seem to get the hang of holding my gun in the right place, because it kept flashing and giving me the message: "HOLD WITH TWO HANDS." I was holding it with two hands! It was still fun, though.

Riley spraying water at us in the bumper boats. She was just barely tall enough to drive one by herself. (Eva was not and had to ride with me.)

I had not expected to get so soaked! Our clothes were totally wet and I ended up with unplanned smoky eyes – on the top and bottom!

Riley rode the airplanes. Eva watched from the ground.

Eva rode the carousel twice, but held on for dear life. (Apparently this is one result of our being extreme homebodies.) Never mind that she rode about a hundred carousels in Paris. Two years ago.

There was just enough room on the go-karts for all the kids to go at once. I'm amazed that Eva agreed to it, but she seemed to feel comfortable with Max at the wheel since he drives a lot these days.

Landon volunteered to go with Riley. Lucas frustrated everyone by going too slow and not staying in one lane so that everyone could pass him. Good times.

These two were delighted to share a lunch of chicken strips and fries.

The Frog Hopper is Riley's favorite ride and she probably went on it 10 times. She really wanted Eva to go on it with her, and Eva finally relented, if I would do it, too. There is one seat in the middle for adults. I figured, what the heck? No big whoop. Oh, there was whoop.

It drops you down suddenly and then goes back up. Repeat many times. I couldn't stop myself from screaming a little. Eva was white-knuckled the entire time. I won't make that mistake again! I am now a total wuss about rides.

And, of course, Riley did the climbing wall.

Eva preferred playing on the indoor playground. Maybe next time we'll spare ourselves the drive and just go to a McDonald's playland!

The next day was Friday, and I treated myself to a lazy day at home. I think it was well-deserved. I also think I should get some major points for being a fun mom that week.

books 2011 #20-25

2011-08-27T22:44:00.000-06:00

A Stranger on the Planet by Adam Schwartz

My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I prefer my coming of age novels to have a lot less sex than this one does.

While at times I really felt for Seth and what he had to endure with his mother, his father, and his stepmother, I also just got tired of his inability to be a decent person every time it really mattered.

Can't really recommend this one.

Through His Eyes: Rethinking What You Believe about Yourself by Virginia H. Pearce

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This book is about uncluttering your mind, or in other words, examining your beliefs and discarding the ones that are untrue. Sometimes we hold opposing beliefs and if we really think about it, we can't (or shouldn't) believe them both. Sometimes we allow ourselves to be guided by beliefs that may be true, but are not eternal truths, so we end up getting in our own way.

I found it to be very thought-provoking. I have an ongoing belief list that I can examine for the purposes of truth-seeking. I now feel myself to be an "inquirer after truth," and find myself thinking about it all the time.

Highly recommended.

The Lotus Eaters by Tatjana Soli

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This book grew on me as I read it (thereby reinforcing my compulsion to finish a book I have started!). It's about three photographers (two American, one Vietnamese) who are covering the Vietnam War.

At first I didn't find the two Americans to be very likable, but the more I read about their experiences, the more I understood them and their behavior. I knew virtually nothing about the Vietnam War before reading this book, and now I feel like I get why it was so destructive to the people involved. Vietnam was almost a character in this book, the heat, the humidity, the lushness rising right off of its pages.

Linh was my favorite character, such a tender, gentle man. Through him, I learned about Vietnamese culture.

I found it fascinating the way Helen and Darrow became so changed by their time in Vietnam that they no longer even wanted to go home, much like the lotus eaters (referenced in the title) in Homer's Odyssey. A really interesting read.

Body Surfing by Anita Shreve

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I picked this up on clearance at Borders because I liked Shreve's The Weight of Water and Sea Glass.

I like the way Shreve lets us in on her characters' thought processes (the protagonist/narrator, anyway). I liked the way Sydney's imagination would run away with her, the way she would consciously decide to give someone the benefit of a doubt.

I was interested to find out that several of Shreve's novels are set in the very same beachfront house, and we get a brief summary of the house's owners through the years in this book.

3.5 stars. Great beach read.

A Change in Altitude by Anita Shreve

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

An interesting study of a marriage. A couple experiences a traumatic event together, and we see how it impacts them, how they struggle through it.

Set in Kenya, where Shreve lived for several years, I enjoyed the descriptions of the country and the believable way the African characters were written. I never thought mountain climbing would be so interesting to me.

Good story, interesting characters, a quick read. 3.5 stars.

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I wouldn't go so far as to say that this book read like a novel, as some have said, but it did manage to combine science and human interest very effectively.

I loved Deborah, she is so refreshingly real. I loved it whenever anyone reached out to the Lacks family and tried to help them understand the difficult concepts surrounding their mother's cells and the scientific research and discoveries they facilitated.

I had no idea there were so many controversial issues regarding human tissue research.

View all my reviews

Creative Friday

2011-08-26T15:55:00.000-06:00

Not only did we have Creative Friday after school on Monday, but we also had an out of town guest! Our blogging friend Rebekah was visiting Utah, and we invited her to join us.

I just love Rebekah. She is funny, and she is real. Best of all, she leaves the most insightful comments ever. On top of all that, she has an unbelievable memory!

I went out to meet them when they arrived. Rebekah was holding large Sonic drinks in both hands. I told her she had lipstick on her teeth, but of course, she had no hands available for wiping it off, so I wiped it off for her. Oh dear. I fear she may never return now that I've touched her teeth...

We barraged her with questions to fill in the gaps in blogging. I hope we didn't scare her. Also, I am coveting her maxi dress. Big time.

Marc joined us to chat for awhile.

On an unrelated note, I think we're all a little jealous of Lucas's birthday haul of iTunes cards.

I worked on my back to school dinner printables and then I taught Rebekah how to make paper flowers.

She, too, makes cuter ones than mine. Apparently everyone does.

I showed them the colors I have selected for painting our walls, kitchen cabinets, and piano. I have a lot of ambition now that the kids are in school. (I haven't started anything yet, but I'm trying to gather my courage.)

I made banana chocolate chip muffins since I had lots of ripe bananas. Jill doesn't like them, so fortunately she had Reese's pieces on hand.

Jill prepped several birthday good mail items. Sadly, I have not sent any birthday good mail in months! (largely because I am out of ideas...)

Jill is borrowing the saw that my dad bought to cut down large limbs and small trees. For days, I have been giggling whenever I think of this sight. We have lent and borrowed many things between us, but a saw is a first.

milestone

2011-08-24T14:55:00.000-06:00

I have been a mother for 16 years, but yesterday was the first day I had all of my children in school for a full day! I have waited for this day for ever so long.

Don't get me wrong, I love having my children around, they are very good company in general. It's not like I don't want to be with them. But, with rare exceptions, being home alone for hours on end is a luxury I have not had for sixteen years. And it's a luxury I very much enjoy.

Lucas, organizing his big binder on Monday night (after seventh grade day). He was so excited about all of the pockets and pouches, etc. It made me smile, remembering how I loved putting in fresh paper and pencils as well, getting all ready for a new school year.

Getting up early is quite a change for Lucas, who will sleep until 11:00 unless I go in and wake him earlier. (I usually don't let him sleep past 9:30 or 10:00, but still.) So far, he has been getting up in time to shower before school (2 for 2)—hallelujah!

I got the idea to make these identifying signs for first day pictures from Pinterest. I'm starting a tradition, even though I have an eleventh grader! Max was characteristically cooperative.

Lucas was his usual camera-shy self.

But I prevailed. (He knew he couldn't leave until I was at least semi-satisfied, and he didn't want to be late!)

Eva was over the moon about being a first grader and getting to eat lunch at school (brown bagged).

She was definitely less excited about discovering that she is the only girl at her table.

(On a sad note, when I left her room, I found a boy crying in the hall—a first grader who was all alone and couldn't remember where his classroom was. I helped him find where he belonged and left shaking my head. I can't relate to just dropping him off to find his own way. Poor little guy.)

There was a definite celebratory note in the air at the school, one I shared as I drove away to enjoy my first ever full day of school freedom!

First, I had a doctor's appointment. Then I did some errands, by myself, with no deadline! (I went to D.I., OfficeMax, and the grocery store.)

I stopped to get a Diet Coke at McDonald's.

I had to run over to Max's school to take him a book that he forgot. I didn't even mind! (But don't tell him that. I wouldn't want to be doing that all the time.)

Denise and Emily stopped by for a quick visit! Denise came to help Emily get settled into her apartment for the new school year. We are all thrilled to have Emily back in our neck of the woods. (And wish that Denise's family could move to Utah. Obviously.)

I made first day of school cookies. (Peanut butter pretzel chocolate chip.)

We had a back to school themed dinner. (It was really just the decor that was themed, we had panini and corn on the cob.) I used some of the things I got at Office Max for ridiculously cheap as a centerpiece.

Printables from eighteen25.blogspot.com (via Pinterest). Have I mentioned how much I love Pinterest?? I guess I probably should have sharpened the pencils, eh? Oops.

These just made me so happy. And they passed the Lucas test! (He is picky about straws.)

Our dinner time seemed to last longer than usual, as we sat around and talked about everyone's first day. I loved that.

In all, I would say it was a productive, satisfying day. And the best part is that I have many many more such days to look forward to! Shazam.

A lot of people have asked me what I'm going to do with my newfound time. I have some ideas, but all I know for sure is that I won't have any shortage of things I want to do. How will I fill the time? I can't wait to find out.

Sunday thoughts

2011-08-21T14:08:00.002-06:00

Today was another great Sunday!

Again I cried several times, but at least it didn't get out of control this week. Normally, I do not cry easily. At all. So I don't know what to make of my quickness to cry lately. Is it an indication that my anti-depressants aren't working properly? Or could it be a sign that my heart is more open now? I hope it's the latter.

Some highlights:

A young Deacon spoke about testimony. He and his mom and little brother moved out of our ward yesterday. He thanked all the people in the ward who have taught him and helped him to develop his own testimony. He singled out one of his home teachers who taught him about the law of the harvest: "for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap." No good thing comes without work and sacrifice.

The home teacher planted potatoes with him, and together they tended them until the (bountiful) harvest. I love that home teacher, so much.

A woman read from her father's conversion story. When he was a teenager, one of his neighbors (one he had not been entirely kind to) invited him to walk to school with him each day. Later, he invited him to play church basketball. As attending 6 church meetings a month was a requirement for being on the church team, he started going to mutual and an occasional Sacrament meeting. He liked the people, especially the cute girls. But gradually, he started to feel the Spirit confirm to him that the doctrines were true, that he was in the right place.

This continued for several years. Finally, the bishop asked him when he was going to be baptized. He met with the missionaries and was baptized by his friend who introduced him to the gospel.

He found out much later that his friend gave up playing on the varsity basketball team his senior year so that he could keep playing on the church team with him, and keep fellowshipping him. Because of that sacrifice, 37 members of his family now enjoy the blessings of the gospel. I love that teenage boy who was willing to sacrifice something that he wanted for something that he thought was more important, something that ultimately impacted so many lives for the better.

A strong, personal testimony is a true and faithful companion during good times and bad. It is reason for hope and happiness, no matter what we encounter in life. It allows us to do things we had no prior experience with, things we didn't think we could do. No one can take it away from us.

I am feeling so motivated to nurture my testimony, to look for ways to serve others, and to be the best me I can be!

p.s. there were two other things I cried over, but they will have to wait for future posts...

paper flower tutorial

2011-08-20T22:39:00.001-06:00

Several of you asked for a tutorial on making flowers out of book pages (I guess it would work with any paper, really – the possibilities are endless!). I can't remember where to find the tutorial that I used, so... here's a quick rundown:

Tear out some book pages and cut them so they are squares (eyeballing it is fine).

Draw a large-ish spiral, starting from the outside and working your way in. I don't actually draw it, I just cut it, but I drew it here so you can get an idea of what it looks like.

Cut the spiral. (I stacked several pages on top of each other for the cutting to save time, but then they get kind of tangled in each other, so is it really a time-saver? It's a toss-up.)

See how fun that is? I'm such a sucker for anything like unto a curling tendril. (Except when it comes to my hair. Then I'm so not a sucker for it. Or maybe I'm a sucker in a bad way...)

Start rolling up your paper, from the outside of the spiral towards the center.

When you get to the center, you have this nifty circle-ish/oval-ish piece that forms the bottom of your flower. Clever, right? I would love to know how people come up with these things.

This is my rather tightly-rolled flower.

(Blurry photo, but I'm too lazy to redo it!) I accidentally dropped my tightly-rolled flower and then discovered that I like them better when they are allowed to un-roll slightly and loosen up. A happy accident!

Place some glue on the circle-ish bottom part and gently form around the base of your flower. Allow to dry.

Voilà! Nicole and Michelle made some with me one day at a family luncheon, and theirs were much cuter. I wish I had taken some pictures of theirs. But I digress...

You can manipulate them a bit to make them look just the way you want them. I have seen them grouped on top of wrapped packages for a little pizazz and I also would like to replicate a wreath I saw on Pinterest made out of about a million of these little guys. I hope you enjoy making them as much as I do!

p.s. If you're not on Pinterest yet, do not delay! Seriously, what are you still doing here? Go do it now. (Let me know if you need an invite.)

a too-short visit

2011-08-18T22:58:00.003-06:00

My parents came into town from Philadelphia last Thursday at midnight. They came for a brief visit to celebrate Lucas's birthday and Priesthood ordination. I was so glad they could make it, especially considering the stressful time my mom is having with her business right now.

I was not so glad when they had to leave on Monday. We don't see them often enough, and the time just flew by.

As I have already established, my dad spent the entirety of his time here making trips to Home Depot and working on handyman projects around the house and yard. He's a wonder.

Mom and I ran errands, did a little shopping, and cooked together. (I love having a cooking buddy.)

Here are a few random photos from their short visit:

Mom let Eva borrow some of her bracelets for church. She was thrilled, of course. She sometimes refers to my mom as "Grandma Queen" because she is so fancy.

Eva came up to my mom on Sunday and said, "Have you ever dreamed of having a choir of two?" Mom replied that she had not, but was happy to join when Eva invited her to form their very own choir of two.

They snuggled in Eva's bed, making their selections from the Children's Songbook and practicing.

Max was their accompanist. There's not much I love more than family making music together.

So sweet.

After the choir concert was over, Eva sang Read Me a Memory for Grandma and Grandpa. I still get choked up every time I hear it.

Mom came with us to the junior high when we paid Lucas's fees ($145!), got his locker assignment, and practiced with the combination.

(Sadly, his schedule is royally messed up, so we are still waiting for a new one and he has not had the chance to walk around the school and find his classrooms yet.)

We always take an airport self-portrait (usually because I have forgotten to do one before that point). I have the cutest parents.

I hate it when they leave. Especially when I don't know when we will see each other next. sigh.

12 on the 12th | August

2011-08-17T16:34:00.000-06:00

1. Jack watching my dad work in the yard (from the deck). I have to wonder what he thinks of the drastic reduction of his jungle.
2. Marc helping Max work on an essay for AP Lit. He has to have it done by the time school starts. (The poor guy has been doing schoolwork all summer long.)
3. Picking out paint colors with my mom. I was so gratified that she confirmed my choices! She's the color master.
4. Mom always wears cute shoes, (almost never flats).
5. I love it when Lucas and Eva play together.
6. Eva practicing piano and working on her theory. She just started learning about the white keys.
7. Loading up our neighbor's trailer with all of Dad's cuttings. It was a whole family project!
8. Marc took Lucas shopping to get his main birthday gift: a punching bag and boxing gloves.
9. We took Eva to her school to see the class lists. Grandma let her use some of her grown-up lipgloss.
10. We don't know much about Eva's teacher. She was disappointed that her best friend is not in her class (nor the boy that she has a crush on), but at least she has one good friend in there. I told her she will meet lots of new friends!
11. I made invitations for Lucas's birthday party and we went around to deliver them. (Not one of his friends was home, so we are just hoping that they all got the invites!)
12. Dropping off Lucas to Landon's birthday party. Night games was a brilliant idea.

not quite wordless Wednesday

2011-08-17T08:33:00.000-06:00

{horrible photo I snapped from my car}

I don't know if I could ever buy anything from this boutique, no matter HOW cute it was! Seriously.

Sneelock was here

2011-08-15T22:35:00.003-06:00

My dad spent a good 5 hours on Friday cutting down volunteer trees, overgrown bushes, and a bunch of other stuff from our horrid, dog-ruined jungle of a backyard. It was also a very hot day.

This photo truly is not representative of the magnitude of the piles of cuttings.

One neighbor lent us a trailer, and another their Excursion to tow the trailer. We all helped to haul branches, cut them down, and load it up. It was quite a job.

Dad and our wonderful neighbor took the whole load to the dump on Saturday morning.

The backyard is hardly recognizable. Still weedy and rather out of control, but much less of a jungle. Sunnier. More open. It seems like a miracle of sorts.

On Sunday, Dad helped Marc to measure and hang this old window we bought from a cool secondhand store.

He spent all of today (until it was time to leave for the airport) fixing our leaky bathtub faucets and the drain outside of our laundry room (it flooded for the umpteenth time last night due to a rainstorm).

I lost count of how many trips he made to Home Depot, but I think it was at least 6 in just 3 days.

I sure do love having Sneelock around. And service is the best kind of gift.

Sunday thoughts

2011-08-14T22:53:00.003-06:00

Today is Lucas's 12th birthday.

He was ordained to the office of Deacon in the Aaronic Priesthood. Marc ordained him, and my dad and Max also stood in the circle.

The Deacon's quorum came over to talk to him about some of the specific duties and activities he will now be involved in.

Lucas requested oatmeal rolls, corn on the cob, watermelon, and chocolate peanut butter cake. (We supplemented the meal for those of us who are not quite so picky with pulled pork and green green salad.)

It was a happy, happy day.

I am so glad that Lucas is worthy to be a Priesthood holder, and so happy that my parents could be here to help celebrate his special day.

two things

2011-08-08T23:25:00.003-06:00

1. Eva has been having an OCD-like compulsion to wash her hands.

She washes her hands like a surgeon scrubbing in for surgery.

She washes her hands for far too long, and sometimes multiple times in a row.

She has developed rashes on her wrists and fingers from too much hand-washing.

She has been banned from hand-washing until her skin heals, and is only allowed to use a bit of hand sanitizer for the time being.

It's completely counter-intuitive to tell your child not to wash her hands.

2. She has her first loose tooth.

My kids get their teeth late and lose their teeth late. She has been waiting for this for a long time.

Still. My heart hurts a little bit that my baby is leaving this stage of childhood behind. Soon she will have those big, awkward permanent teeth. Soon she may no longer be 100% cute.

How can you simultaneously be anxious for your children to grow and be more independent, etc. and yet want to hold them back, to keep them small for awhile longer?

This motherhood gig is perpetually perplexing.

Sunday thoughts

2011-08-07T15:33:00.002-06:00

We had an amazing fast & testimony meeting today.

* The bishopric member who was conducting told us that he felt a great sense of well-being this week, a feeling of being buoyed up. Then later, the bishop told him he had been praying for him. He testified of the power of prayer.

* A mother spoke about her 8-year-old daughter who is having a delicate brain surgery tomorrow morning. She said that it is very humbling to be the recipients of a ward fast. She testified of the beauty of the plan of salvation. (I was crying uncontrollably at this point.)

* A man bore his testimony, then told his wife that she was the greatest thing that ever happened to him, that he had no idea why she ever said yes. He also said that it is a wonderful thing when your sons are better men than you are. So sweet.

* A man who is a leader in young men's told of his daughter's temple marriage just a few days ago. He exhorted them all to make the temple their ultimate goal, worth any amount of sacrifice.

* A young girl got teary when expressing her gratitude for her family and for the doctrine of eternal families.

* A young man who was baptized two years ago spoke of the power of the atonement. He leaves his toddler daughter and his pregnant wife tomorrow to enter the military.

* A woman whose son was murdered two weeks ago spoke about the power of forgiveness, and the powerful comfort she has felt from so many who are keeping their baptismal covenant by mourning with those who mourn and make others' burdens light. She said that she knows they will come out of this alright because of the Savior.

My goodness. At a certain point, I had to give up wiping away my tears because they were falling faster than I could handle. The room was just thick with the Spirit.

And to top it all off, the closing hymn was I Know That My Redeemer Lives, a song I can hardly sing without crying on a normal day!

I feel drained. And invigorated. And so very blessed.

five for friday

2011-08-05T09:19:00.000-06:00

Marc's sister Lisa was in town with her family last month and Eva was dying to have her cousin Dana over for a sleepover. Dana, never having done a sleepover, was a little hesitant, so she invited her big sister Olivia along. They came home with us on a Sunday night and stayed all day Monday, and Eva was devastated when Lisa picked them up. It's too bad they see each other so rarely!

Marc has been photographing still lifes around the house for a photography contest. At one point, he was standing on the kitchen table with his tripod, trying to get a shot. I can tell when he's scoping out potential photo ops. He is submitting some photos he took in Eva's room, vignettes of her toys in play; and she said that if he wins, it will be like she wins, too!

Eva had her friend Riley over to play and they ended up watching a movie about Golden Retrievers on Netflix. They kept clinging to each other during the "scary parts." I told them that if it was too scary, they should do something else, but they protested that that was what made it fun!

I would say that Lucas came home from Scout camp with at least a hundred mosquito bites. He is allergic to them, so they always get pretty bad (this photo doesn't really do it justice). They were clustered on his shoulders, elbows, knees, and neck, despite the fact that he was wearing pants and shirts with sleeves and had applied bug repellent! Also, one of the leaders who went with them didn't get a single bite. What the? (He's been back for almost 3 weeks and they are just now going away.)

I tried making naan. I really love naan, and since I was making Indian food one night, it seemed like the time to give it a go. I don't know that I'll do that again. It was quite a tedious process, involving a pizza stone and a spray bottle, cooking them one at a time, etc. and it still wasn't right. It seemed more like regular pita bread to me. Not worth it. Bummer.

wordless Wednesday

2011-08-03T23:09:00.000-06:00

{sorry, Jill.}

Sunday thoughts

2011-07-31T19:52:00.007-06:00

My Sunday Thoughts today come from Marc's Gospel Doctrine class – I think that's a first. (In the past, Sunday School has been an hour to be endured, but Marc is such a good teacher that it is actually interesting and informative.)

We were reading in Acts today, and discussing how Christ's disciples were transformed from those who were taught at His feet, sometimes confused, into men of God in their own right who testified boldly and performed miracles of their own:

Acts 4:

7 And when they had set them in the midst, they asked, By what ^apower, or by what ^bname, have ye done this?

8 Then Peter, filled with the ^aHoly Ghost, said unto them, Ye rulers of the people, and elders of Israel,

9 If we this day be examined of the good deed done to the impotent man, by what means he is made whole;

10 Be it known unto you all, and to all the people of Israel, that by the ^aname of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom ye crucified, whom God raised from the dead, even by him doth this man stand here before you whole.

11 This is the ^astone which was set at nought of you builders, which is become the head of the corner.

12 Neither is there ^asalvation in any other: for there is none other ^bname under heaven given among men, whereby we must be ^csaved.

13 ¶Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were ^aunlearned and ^bignorant men, they marvelled; and they took knowledge of them, that they had been with Jesus.

14 And beholding the man which was healed standing with them, they could say nothing against it.

They spent 40 days being taught by the resurrected, glorified Savior, and then they received the gift of the Holy Ghost.

Marc recalled going to see Leontyne Price in concert when he was just a boy. She ended with an encore of the spiritual Who'll Be a Witness, and when she said "I'll be a witness for my Lord," and struck her chest, he was moved.

He challenged us all to remember that we have that same gift of the Holy Ghost. We can all be a powerful witness for the Lord.

Of all the good things that I heard at church today, this is the one that I most want to keep close to my heart.

Creative Friday

2011-07-30T22:15:00.003-06:00

We had Creative Friday at Jill's house again yesterday. It's awesome when Eva and Whitney go off to play and we hardly see them for the rest of the day!

It feels almost tragic that now that we're hitting a great C.F. groove, Jill has to go back to work soon. That's just plain wrong if you ask me.

Anyway. I worked on some felt barrettes for Eva and some book page flowers for me.

I may use some of these for gift toppers and I would like to make a wreath out of them as well. But I'll have to make a lot more. A lot.

Jill discovered that these fun size packs contain between 6-8 peanut m&ms. How's that for portion control??

Jill made quite a bit of progress with her correspondence!

I went in to give Eva a warning that we were about to leave and found this game set-up. She told me that they needed about an hour to finish. (I always wish we could stay longer, too.) I'm so happy that they come up with games they both seem to enjoy.

When we were leaving, Whitney presented this bag of Hello Kitty toys for Eva! She was thrilled, of course. (It only served to reinforce her idea that Whitney is her best friend.)

Well. You would think that after years of taking self-portraits together, we would really have our technique down, but then we get one like this. Yikes. (Incidentally, sometimes I wear my hair in a ponytail. I generally think it looks kind of cute when I see it in the mirror, but when I see it in a picture, I am horrified. What the? Maybe I shouldn't be allowed to wear ponytails?)

I'm trying to focus on the positive with Creative Friday. At least we've had quite a few this summer, and we can (hopefully) squeeze in a few more. But I still dread the start of school. Eva will be going to first grade and we could have actually had a block of kid-free time together! So sad.

a little white lie

2011-07-26T20:01:00.000-06:00

Eva had her second dance recital in June.

We missed the first day of our Snowbird vacation so she could go to the dance pictures, and the last day of the vacation so she could be at the dress rehearsal. The performances were on Friday and Saturday nights.

Both nights, she got home late and didn't get to bed until close to midnight. She was exhausted, and she didn't understand why they had to have two performances. She felt totally done after Friday night.

On Saturday night, her teacher entered the green room and asked the dancers to raise their hands if they liked recitals.

Eva was very concerned when she recounted this to me on the way home, because she knows it's wrong to lie. (What?!)

Mom: So, you don't like recitals?

Eva: Well, not really.

M: Most people think it's the reward at the end of practicing all year. You don't like being on stage and all the applause from the audience?

E: It's okay.

M: How about playing with the other dancers in the green room?

E: Yeah, that's kind of fun.

M: Do you like wearing a costume and makeup?

E: YES!

M: How about watching the other dancers when you're onstage?

E: I LOVE that. But Mom, I basically only do recitals because it's a step to becoming a "big ballerina" (i.e., en pointe).

M: I see. Well, I don't think you need to worry about telling a lie. There are at least some things you like about dance recitals.

Then I verified that she enjoys going to her weekly class. I certainly don't want her to continue if this is all a waste of time and money! Good grief.

The back of her costume kills me.

Her class got to sit on stage during several numbers and watch the "big ballerinas." She can't get enough of that.

This year's show was called "It's a Seussical Life." The principal dancer in the role of the Cat in the Hat was simply magnetic – I could not take my eyes off of her.

I would love to do a dance like this hip hop one!

These teeny tiny girls are always such a hit. One girl fell out of her flowerpot one night, and never emerged from it the next. So funny.

her tap routine

I am so curious to see if age and practice will help Eva to remember her steps and actually stay with the music. Time will tell!

This number with yoga balls as props was seriously creative and impressive!

Two dancers were inside each giant pair of pants and they did a dance to Pants on the Ground. Eva could not stop giggling about that.

I enjoyed this number with masks and black lights.

her ballet routine

The bottom line: it's a means to an end, but as long as being in a recital involves wearing bright red lipstick, blush, and mascara, she's willing to bite the bullet.

Happy Pioneer Day

2011-07-25T21:33:00.003-06:00

I'm not much of a parade girl (although we did watch part of the Days of '47 parade on tv this morning), so I honored the pioneers the best way I knew how:

industry.

After being sick for almost two weeks, the house and yard really needed some attention. I spent most of the day cleaning bathrooms, doing laundry, vacuuming, and watering the lawn. Very satisfying.

Sunday thoughts

2011-07-24T13:14:00.002-06:00

I've been reading a book this week that has really given me a lot to think about: Through His Eyes: Rethinking What You Believe About Yourself, by Virginia Pearce.

I have underlined so many things so far, I couldn't possibly share them all. So I'll just give you a few highlights, and say... I really recommend this book.

"In his personal history, Joseph Smith described his audience as "inquirers after truth." I like everything about that descriptive title: inquirer after truth. It seems to imply humility, courage, faith, an allegiance to straight thinking, a kind of mental toughness. I believe it is a description I would like to own myself – the kind of person I would like to be.

"In order to be inquirers after truth, you and I must be willing to embark with enthusiasm on a personal adventure. It is a journey outside as well as inside of ourselves. . . In essence, it requires the periodic exercise of taking everything out of the closet of our minds and purposefully returning only that which is truly useful – or actually true. Over and over again."

"Each of us is largely the product of his or her beliefs. Our behavior is governed by these. They become our standards of conduct." – President Gordon B. Hinckley

The first step is to brainstorm about the things you believe, about yourself, about others, about God, and the way the world works.

"This is where you need to be a fearless inquirer after truth. There may be some information that you're not really proud of or that seems ridiculous."

The next step is to examine your beliefs and decide which of them are true and which are not true at all. Sort the ones that are true into eternal truths and general worldly truths, because sometimes in adhering to our worldly beliefs, we get in the way of our eternal progress.

"Emotions reflect our beliefs and expectations. They do not initiate themselves, coming out of nowhere, as we sometimes think. . . This is where we, as inquirers after truth, have to be willing to be a bit brave. . . We can change our thinking as we reassess and examine our beliefs for their validity. And when our thinking changes, our emotions will change automatically."

"Emotions become debilitating and pathologic when they are driven by 1) lies posing as truth, or 2) small truths unsupported by big Truths."

"Expect to become more aware of the Spirit operating in your life. That's when you are an honest inquirer after truth."

I love the way Sister Pearce is real, the way she gives experiences from her own life and her own thinking. I am engaged in some serious soul-searching this week (which I'm sure will be ongoing), with the aim of becoming an honest inquirer after truth. Care to join me?

books 2011 #14-19

2011-07-20T20:30:00.000-06:00

Curly Girl by Lorraine Massey

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This book kind of rocked my world. I especially liked all of the interviews with curly-haired women: they know my pain! They have been struggling with their hair their whole lives! And they are in various stages of acceptance, they don't all love their hair now. Just keeping it real.

My life would seriously be so much easier if I could just like my hair the way it is and stop wishing it were straight, trying to straighten it, wanting a different style, etc. I'm trying. I tried not shampooing, as the author recommends, and just using conditioner, but I gave up after a week. I just had to wash my hair!

Her tips about using clips to shape and speed the air-drying process were very helpful. I bought some lavender essential oil to make some lavender mist (haven't made it yet).

I think I want to get a hold of the newer edition to see if there are any changes that might help me with my journey to hair acceptance...

Far from the Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy

My rating: 4.5 of 5 stars

Finally!! I don't why it took me a month to get through this book. I liked it! But for whatever reason, it was just really. slow. going. I felt rather guilty for having chosen it for book club (sorry, guys!).

I loved the depth of the character development. Even when some of the action was surprising, it really wasn't, given the characters that had been so fully fleshed-out. I also really liked the maturing of Bathsheba that we witnessed - she went from sort of a flighty girl to a woman of substance and strength.

The Weed That Strings the Hangman's Bag by Alan Bradley

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I just love Flavia de Luce, and I'm sure I'll have to read any and all books written about her. She is utterly beyond her 11 years, and then not... just like other tweens I've known. She is fascinated by chemistry, particularly poisons, and is quite a little detective, and yet she is still a child in many ways. She can distill poisons and solve murders, yet she still falls victim to her older sisters' taunts and tales about her being adopted or being voted out of the family. I love that hovering between childhood and more grown-up thoughts and interests.

Aunt Felicity showed herself to be a good ally for Flavia, perhaps more than Flavia herself can recognize at this point. I love their conversation about Harriet and carrying on the torch:

". . . carry on the glorious name of De Luce," she said. "Wherever it may lead you."

This was an interesting thought; it had never occurred to me that one's name could be a compass.

"And where might that be?" I asked, somewhat slyly.

"You must listen to your inspiration. You must let your inner vision be your Pole Star."

I also love the character of Dogger. He is alternately someone that Flavia looks after and someone who looks after her. The entertaining writing as well as the complexity of the characters will keep me coming back for more.

Mudbound by Hillary Jordan

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I loved this book. Again, great characters set in the South, but this time there is no happy happy joy joy matriarchal society. There is hatred, bigotry, injustice, and the KKK, but I loved it all the same.

I can't wait to discuss this at book club.

Saving CeeCee Honeycutt by Beth Hoffman

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Apparently I just love Southern fiction. I love stories about strong women, inter-generational relationships between women, and stories about strong inter-racial relationships. I just love it when the blacks and whites not only get along, but love each other! Love it.

I love CeeCee, and I am so glad that she was saved from her awful life and rescued, that she ended up with a whole gaggle of women who loved her and that she loved in return. I want that for my daughter. I hope I can be instrumental in that.

Favorite quotes:

"Everyone needs to find the one thing that brings out her passion. It's what we do and share with the world that matters. I believe it's important that we leave our communities in better shape than we found them.

"Cecelia Rose", she said, reaching for my hand, "far too many people die with a heart that's gone flat with indifference, and it surely must be a terrible way to go. Life will offer us amazing opportunities, but we've got to be wide-awake to recognize them. . . if there's one thing I'd like most for you, it's that you'll find your calling in life. That's where true happiness and purpose lies. . . you've got to find your fire, sugar. You'll never be fulfilled if you don't."

". . . But how will I know what my fire is?"

". . . Oh you'll know. One day you'll do something, see something, or get an idea that seems to pop up from nowhere. And you'll feel a kind of stirring–like a warm flicker inside your chest. When that happens, whatever you do, don't ignore it. Open your mind and explore the idea. Fan your flame. And when you do, you'll have found it."

:::

"When we're born, the Good Lord gives each of us a Life Book. Chapter by chapter, we live and learn."

"But, Mrs. Odell, I've never heard of a Life Book."

"It's not a book you can see or touch. It's a book that's held deep within your heart. It's guarded by your spirit. . . When a chapter of your Life Book is complete, your spirit knows it's time to turn the page so a new chapter can begin. Even when you're scared or think you're not ready, your spirit knows you are."

:::

"It's what we believe about ourselves that determines how others see us."

The Wholeness of a Broken Heart: A Novel by Katie Singer

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I just love multi-generational novels, particularly those about women. I also tend to like novels told from multiple perspectives. This fills the bill on both counts.

When Hannah's formerly adoring mother suddenly shuts her out, I am shocked. I am angry on Hannah's behalf. I am mystified. The rest of the story, and the differing viewpoints and experiences that are revealed, helps me to understand more. I still don't agree with what she did, but I can understand her better.

I love Hannah's grandmothers. Is there any hurt a loving grandmother can't help to heal?

View all my reviews

passion (Monday musings)

2011-07-18T23:55:00.005-06:00

Ever since we saw Buck, I have been wondering what it would be like to have a true passion for something.

When I was growing up, I always wished I was so passionate about something that I wanted to devote all of my energy to it. Dance. Gymnastics. Figure skating. Anything, really.

I would watch the Olympics and feel kind of heartsick that I wasn't really good at something. I still feel that way a little bit when I watch So You Think You Can Dance. (Because I already know, the answer is NO. Just like when Jill says she watches Survivor and wonders if she could do all of those things. For me, the answer is NO. I could not.)

I've been passionate about things in the past. Reading. Scrapbooking. Education. Singing. Quilting. French. Blogging. Politics. Baking. Mothering. Photography. I just don't feel really passionate about anything right now. (Well, still reading. Always reading.)

Since I've been sick for a week (bronchitis), I've had a lot of time to lie around, read, and think. Among other things, I read Saving CeeCee Honeycutt (loved it). Here's a passage that really gave me pause:

"Everyone needs to find the one thing that brings out her passion. It's what we do and share with the world that matters. I believe it's important that we leave our communities in better shape than we found them.

"Cecelia Rose", she said, reaching for my hand, "far too many people die with a heart that's gone flat with indifference, and it surely must be a terrible way to go. Life will offer us amazing opportunities, but we've got to be wide-awake to recognize them. . . if there's one thing I'd like most for you, it's that you'll find your calling in life. That's where true happiness and purpose lies. . . you've got to find your fire, sugar. You'll never be fulfilled if you don't."

". . . But how will I know what my fire is?"

". . . Oh you'll know. One day you'll do something, see something, or get an idea that seems to pop up from nowhere. And you'll feel a kind of stirring–like a warm flicker inside your chest. When that happens, whatever you do, don't ignore it. Open your mind and explore the idea. Fan your flame. And when you do, you'll have found it."

I guess I'm at a bit of a crossroads, maybe. I've sacrificed a lot of my time, my dreams, to nurture my children. And while I know for a surety that my older children don't need me any less than my younger children did, it's different now. They still need my love, my attention, my interest, but they don't need me to do every little thing for them. They don't need me constantly.

Now I think I have a little more time to devote to my passions, if I can only figure out what they currently are. When I was in the years of pregnancy, childbirth, and nursing infants, I was passionate about that. I wanted to be a doula, a labor & delivery nurse, or something along those lines. I could still be passionate about that if I put my mind to it.

I still want to be passionate about mothering. I just have to figure out how to be good at it in this new phase. It doesn't come as naturally to me.

I feel a rekindling of my passion for quilting.

I think I could be passionate about volunteering. I'll have to explore that further.

I want to be passionate about things that make me happy, but I also want to be passionate about something that makes a difference for others.

Right now, I just don't know what it is. I wonder how long it will take for me to find out.

The thing is... I really don't want to have a heart that's gone flat with indifference.

Day 3 of summer cold

2011-07-15T19:16:00.001-06:00

Why is it that quite often when I'm healthy, I'd like nothing more than to lie down and read all afternoon; yet when I'm sick and can't do much else, I am restless and wish I could tackle all kinds of projects around the house?? It's a real conundrum.

12 on the 12th | July

2011-07-13T10:45:00.003-06:00

1. Lucas, all set to go to Scout Camp.
2. a big pile of camping gear
3. pack goats!! (14 of them)
4. I came home and read for awhile, then fell asleep. Eva played Polly Pockets.
5. Vanilla cream pie for Jill (we were celebrating her birthday a few days late).
6. Jill and I walked in during the previews and it was really dark. We climbed over the people on the end, only to discover that there were no seats in between! What the?
7. We saw Jane Eyre and both liked it. It's a better story than I remembered, and strangely, both of us had forgotten the ending!
8. Because of the timing, we ended up eating lunch/dinner at 5:00, after the movie. (It was an early bird kind of day.) I hadn't eaten all day and was famished. We went to Cheesecake Factory for some carb heaven.
9. Our desserts, which we ate some of and then had to bring home. We were both overly full when we left.
10. Jill's gifts.
11. I had originally planned on giving her finery for her 40th, but then she told me awhile ago she was giving up on finery, so I resorted to postage and envelopes (a safe bet).
12. I started reading Little House on the Prairie with Eva!

cool and not so cool

2011-07-11T22:55:00.004-06:00

Eva borrowing my camera and takings tons of pictures and making videos! Cool. (Some of the seedlings we planted are starting to bloom!)

Overhearing a mother at the library talking to her son: "Secrets of the Dark Side? (or something like that) I don't think we need to be checking out this book!" Cool.

Gaining several pounds every time I get my period and then getting back to where I was the next week. Not cool.

Getting my period every three weeks. So not cool.

Eva going across the street to ask our neighbor to watch Jack while we were gone, then coming home and saying, "Well, that went well!" Oh, to be that confident. Cool.

Meeting a new niece. (Marc's sister Lisa's baby Sophia.) Cool.

Getting Little House on the Prairie to read with Eva. Cool.

Having a whole bunch of hideous girls' camp photos tagged on Facebook. Very uncool. (I painstakingly removed all the tags!)

Lots of recent thunderstorms. Cool.

Max having only 7 more days of summer school to endure. Cool.

Getting my annual dose of giant cold sores on my chin on Friday and being unable to get a prescription in time to stave off the worst of it. Totally uncool. (I look like a mutant.)

Buck, a documentary we saw last weekend. So very cool. Highly recommended. Especially to my sister and my dad. Or anyone who likes horses. Or amazing people.

Lucas leaving early tomorrow morning for his first Scout camp, where they will be backpacking for 25-30 miles and using pack goats. He was instructed to keep his pack (borrowed from Landon) to under 1/3 his body weight. He did it! Cool. (But we are really going to miss him! Also, I have instructed him not to stand by any ledges or cliffs and not to do anything to attract bears...)

happy birthday, Jill!

2011-07-09T07:00:00.001-06:00

Today is Jill's 40th birthday.

Like me, she had some trepidation about turning 40, but then became reconciled to it as her birthday approached.

40 things about Jill:

1. She is a working girl now! (but thankfully, she has the summer off)
2. She discovered that she actually likes math!
3. Now that her iron deficiency is resolved, she no longer craves pebble ice (it's rather a shame).
4. She favors hot pink nail polish for her toes.
5. She kicked the need for ambien (impressive!).
6. She figured out a way to not hate her current calling on the R.S. activities committee (way to speak up!).
7. She really, really wants a new computer.
8. She really, really wants to be able to access her iTunes library.
9. And her good mail labels. And mailing list.
10. She wears a pedometer to keep track of her daily steps.
11. She goes on daily walks.
12. She gets frustrated when her Goodreads widget doesn't update the number of books she's read this year.
13. She (still) gets embarrassed by people singing and acting in plays.
14. She hires Whitney to keep Eva entertained during Creative Fridays!
15. She loves a good rainstorm.
16. She craves a trip to the beach. (Or Paris.)
17. She worries that her camera is not long for this world (unacceptable).
18. She adores fresh flowers.
19. She is not too keen on getting attached to any more hamsters.
20. She works to banish negative thought patterns.
21. She enjoys listening to podcasts.
22. She enjoys Carnation Instant Breakfast.

23. She wishes the U.S. Postal Service would issue gift cards – they would be her favorite type.
24. She has adorable children.
25. She is a great aunt.
26. She values creativity.
27. She loves being in nature.
28. She can't stand overhead lighting.
29. She can always make me laugh.
30. She is the only person I know who appreciates breezes as much as I do.
31. She is serious about self-improvement.
32. She likes watermelon, but dislikes cutting it up.
33. She is very tender-hearted.
34. She loves going to the movies.
35. She always has a spotlessly clean house (man, I wish I could say the same).
36. She lives very frugally.
37. She is one of the most generous people I know.
38. She is the best friend you could ever have.
39. She is absolutely dedicated to living the gospel.
40. She is bound to have a wonderful year!

Love you, Jill.